Sensory deprivation: bondage gear can help focus your pleasure

The idea of being tied up and blindfolded might seem nerve-wracking on the surface, but I’m a big fan of the ways in which sensory deprivation can increase the pleasure you get from your other senses. Blindfolds mean you have to listen carefully to what’s happening, to get that delicious thrill of not-quite-knowing what’s going on around you. And gags mean you have to consider other ways to communicate with your lover – to say ‘harder’ or ‘faster’ or ‘oh God yes’ or ‘stop.’

Bondage gear isn’t just for hardcore players who want to call each other ‘Sir’ or ‘Ma’am’ – if you’re a total newbie to kink, blindfolds and gags can give you a great introduction to the pleasures of sensory play. So I’m going to give you some top tips, and recommendations for bondage equipment to try out if you want to get involved.

Before I begin, an important note about consent: I’m going to assume that any of you doing kinky play will have spoken to your partner beforehand about their desires, their dislikes, and any hard limits they may have. Make sure you both know how to exit a scene if you need to, and don’t pressure your partner into ramping up the kinkiness beyond what you know you’re both comfortable with, especially when it involves bondage equipment that could limit someone’s ability to see what’s coming next or communicate their safeword. I’m sure you know this, but you’d be surprised by how many people don’t.

Blindfolds: bondage gear for beginners AND old hands

When people tell me they’re keen to explore kink, and ask for good toys to invest in to get started, blindfolds (along with rope) are the first thing I reach for. Why? Well, because their ‘simplicity to pleasure’ ratio is excellent: you don’t need to spend much time learning how to use them, but they can have a disproportionately huge effect on your pleasure.

When you cut off one of your senses, the rest of your senses are immediately heightened, as your brain works overtime trying to interpret the other signals it’s receiving. So when you’re wearing a blindfold, chances are you’ll notice things like touch, sound and smell in even more glorious detail. And if you’re the one who can see, while your partner is blindfolded, you can have a lot of fun doing things that tease them and keep them guessing. Try some of these on for size…

  • Narrate what you’re doing, but leave a hint of mystery. For instance, tell them you’re going to start using a dildo on them, and see if they can guess which of the ones in your collection you’re going to use.
  • For a full-on sensory deprivation experience, pop some headphones on as well as the blindfold so the only senses they have left are touch, smell and taste.
  • If you’re shy about masturbating in front of your partner, I find a blindfold can really help you let go. Sometimes just the act of seeing someone watching you can bring you out in a fit of shyness. Blindfold on? Problem solved. You could even offer to go and start masturbating with a blindfold on, and invite your partner to sneak in and watch you – or at some point see if they can sneak closer and take over.

Bondage gear recommendations: blindfolds

This Bound Nubuck leather blindfold has everything you need for a sexy sensory deprivation session. It’s shaped so it’ll cover your eyes without leaving room to peek out, and it’s only £9.95 – bargain!

If you fancy having a pair (because covering both sets of eyes and spending an evening exploring each other’s bodies using only touch is… ridiculously hot) you can pick up a pair of soft blindfolds from the Fifty Shades range for just £14.95

Gags: bondage gear that can improve your communication (yes, really!)

It sounds strange to say that a gag can improve your communication, but I honestly think it can. Firstly because when one person wears a gag, the other person immediately has to do a lot more work communication-wise. You may be used to just saying ‘yes’ or ‘harder’ when you’re shagging, but when I’m wearing a gag the fact that I can’t do these things any more means my partner instantly picks up some of the slack. “Do you like that? Want it harder?” And I then just nod – or, more likely, moan orgasmically – and he can respond. Not only is it sexy to hear him do more dirty talk, it also means I have to be clear and direct in my non-verbal communication – reaching out to pull him closer to me, or pushing my hips to meet him when he shags me, all that good stuff.

Needless to say, when you’re using bondage equipment that hampers speech, like gags, you need to be extra-careful when considering how the gagged person could withdraw consent. I know lots of people who use the ‘bottle of lube’ trick – where you put a bottle of lube in their hand and tell them to drop it if they need a break – but there are other methods too. I like ‘tapping out’ where I just tap my partner a few times in quick succession, the way I would if he’d defeated me in a wrestling match.

See what I mean about bondage equipment helping with communication though? Like with blindfolds, when you take away one of your senses – or your ability to speak – it effectively makes you work harder with the other assets you’ve got. That’s why bondage gear like blindfolds or gags punches well above its weight in terms of sexual pleasure. And what’s more, they’re usually the cheapest additions to your sex toy drawer, so you get plenty of literal bang for your buck.

Bondage gear recommendations: gags

The first gag I’m going to recommend you is the cheapest one we sell. Because if I believe in anything it’s that sex doesn’t have to cost the Earth. This Bound to Please breathable ball gag is currently only £3.95

If you want one with a solid ball that you can really clamp your teeth down on, pick up this Bound Nubuck leather ball gag – just don’t play with it while you have a cold because having your mouth and nose blocked at the same time is highly not-recommended.

And if you fancy letting your puppy side out to play, this silicone bone gag looks incredible – so incredible that I mentioned it in last week’s post too. What can I say? I’m a sucker for things like this, especially because they give plenty of opportunity to crack out your best ‘bone’ innuendos.

Found some bondage equipment you like? Add your favourites to your basket, or browse loads more bondage gear here.

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