How To Combine Foreplay And A Blowjob Toy Without Killing The Mood
How To Combine Foreplay And A Blowjob Toy Without Killing The Mood
Not sure how to use a stroker or `blowjob toy in your foreplay without making things feel a bit awkward? No worries - we’ve got you covered with tips to improve pleasure and connection without disrupting the vibe and catching the ick.
Why couples are bringing oral sex toys into foreplay
Blowjob toys, sex toys for men, and other pleasure tools that mimic oral (like clit suckers on the flip side) aren’t replacing partners; they’re another cheeky teammate cheering you on, enhancing the experience, and boosting confidence, since everyone will be sure to end up satisfied. For the person giving the oral sex, it can also relieve jaw fatigue and timing pressure. And frankly, when there’s less pressure, there’s usually more fun.
Using sex toys in your foreplay routine is a great way to get to know your desires (and your partner’s) better, discovering new sensations that will ultimately make your connection better (and your sex even more explosive)
And with Steak and Blowjob day right around the corner, there’s really no better excuse to experiment.
Why adding sex toys into foreplay can feel awkward
Let’s be honest…bringing a toy into foreplay can feel like a bit of a loaded moment. Even if you’re in a perfectly happy and communicative relationship, people occasionally worry it suggests someone “isn’t enough” or that there’s something wrong with you. It can also disrupt the vibe, taking things from playful and connected to distracted and performative.
Then there’s the practical side….charging, lube, and timing, all perfectly manageable in a solo session, can make the spontaneous beauty of sex feel, well, a touch less spontaneous. And if you’ve never used one together before, there’s the totally normal “are we doing this right?” energy that can sneak in. But when handled well, toys can expand the playground of sexuality and intimacy, bringing more possibilities rather than replacing what’s already working.
How to introduce a blowjob toy into foreplay
If you haven’t used a toy with a partner before but fancy giving it a go, the way you frame it matters. While many women have used a vibrator before, many men haven’t used a blowjob toy or pocket pussy before, so using one for the first time (especially with a partner) can be intimidating or unfamiliar. A good starting point is chatting about it outside the bedroom when there’s no pressure.
Even better, you can even start the foreplay early by shopping for a stroker online that appeals to both of you, and when it arrives in the mail (always discreetly from sextoys.co.uk) encourage him to explore the toy during solo play (especially if it’s a high-tech one with vibrating, sucking, or rotating modes) before using it together, as this can increase his confidence.
Manual blowjob toys vs high-tech blowjob toys – what’s the difference?
There are two types of blowjob toys that you can bring into your foreplay.
Manual strokers are noise-free and fully interactive, offering more control and making it easier to sync rhythm. They may also be less intimidating to use than a powered stroker, and are great for beginners seeking playful experimentation. Plus, they can easily fit in your luggage for a more erotic vacation or getaway.
High-tech blowjob toys offer constant stimulation and a more intense feeling that’s realistic to a blowjob, with many integrating settings that suck and rotate. They can be perfect for longer sessions. However, they may be a little noisier, making it less organic to use.
You’ll also find both open-ended and closed designs on any of the blowjob toys you’re perusing. An open design is perfect for foreplay as it lets you mix in oral and hand at the same time, using your hands, lips, or tongue to stimulate the head of the penis and frenulum, which are extremely sensitive and nerve-rich areas.
At sextoys.co.uk, we stock some of the best blowjob sex toys on the market with a wide range of designs. Here are some top picks that you can put into your foreplay routine:
The open design on this stroker keeps things flexible so you can mix in eye contact, teasing, hands-on play, and even licking or sucking on the tip.
If you want to combine the magic of a handjob and blowjob, our best-selling rotating stroker makes for the ultimate co-pilot during foreplay with built-in rhythm.
If you really want to dial up the anticipation, let The Enhancer handle consistency while you take breaks to focus on building the mood in other ways.
Common mood killers when using sex toys during foreplay
While we’re here to hook you up with tips to help you bring blowjob toys into your foreplay without ruining the vibe, there are a few don’ts to keep an eye out for before we dive into the do’s. This includes treating toys like a performance tool (sex should be about what feels good, and not pressure to perform), ignoring partner feedback, and focusing only on the orgasm.
Pleasure is a journey, and it’s best to approach with curiosity rather than rigid expectations that you’ve set for yourself (or your partner). Keeping things playful doesn’t just reduce pressure; it often leads to better communication and generally more fun all round!
Foreplay ideas: How keep the mood going with a blowjob toy
Bring dirty talk into the mix
A blowjob toy leaves your mouth free for dirty talk. Even if you love giving blowjobs, you can make the experience even hotter by adding some dirty talk into the mix. Alternate using your mouth and the toy (adding lube in between to reduce friction), and when your lips are free, drive him wild with dirty talk, teasing, and smoldering eye contact. This can build anticipation even more, and best of all, the stimulation doesn’t stop.
So, how do you use dirty talk within your BJ toy foreplay? Maybe you whisper fantasies or compliments into his ear, or ask what feels good in real time, turning constructive feedback into a sensual act.
Weave it into your usual foreplay instead of making a sudden switch
Don’t drop a toy in like a plot twist, since that can change the mood. Instead, let it flow naturally into your foreplay. Gradually escalate things by kissing and touching, then introducing the toy organically. Taking a longer break can bring you out of the moment and make you feel awkward.
To avoid that, prep the toy beforehand (i.e, add lube or water if it’s a self-lubricating model), make sure it’s charged if using a non-manual toy, and keep it nearby to avoid fumbling or reaching for it from afar.
Use your hands, body, and eye contact
Since at least one of your hands will be free when using a blowjob toy, you can stay physically close as you use the toy, touching his thigh, abdomen, or other erogenous zones. Running your hands through his hair is also a great idea. When you use a toy without maintaining physical intimacy, it can make using the toy feel clinical, but when you maintain skin-to-skin contact, it will keep both of you in the mood.
When using the toy, you can use one hand to roam his body, or experiment with prostate play or perineum play using a finger. Always get consent and talk about this beforehand rather than experimenting with someone in the moment, which can cross boundaries or cause discomfort, or gently bite and lick your way up and down their body.
Eye contact is also one of the sexiest parts of a blowjob, so don’t forget that!
Combine it with other types of foreplay
This is another way to stop the experience from feeling mechanical. You don’t just have to use it as a blowjob helper…you can kiss and make out while using the toy, indulge in mutual masturbation, or combine it with sensory or temperature play, bringing in ice cubes, massage candles, or silky restraints.
Use it for edging
A blowjob toy can make the act of edging – bringing someone close to climax and then easing off – much easier and lead to a stronger climax. This is especially true for battery-powered or rechargeable blowjob toys, as the constant stimulation can help control timing. Using these toys can intensify the eventual orgasm and can be a sensual way to increase sensitivity before moving on to penetration.
Alternate between oral sex or handjobs, toy stimulation, and pauses until you find a rhythm that works and makes him moan with delight. That variation will keep things exciting without feeling too repetitive or boring.
Take things into the shower
There are few things more relaxing than receiving a blowjob while warm water is cascading over you. Plus, it’s a lot more practical for the giver than providing oral pleasure in a pool or hot tub! It’s also a great way to explore temperature play and enjoy relaxing in the warm water and focusing on sensation instead of solely performance, clean-up, or the result. You can even consider dimming the lights so you can heighten the other senses and add ambiance. Happy Ending Rinse and Repeat strokers are some of the best shower buddies out there.
Happy Ending Rinse and Repeat Whack Pack - Egg
Some manual strokers, like the Happy Ending line, are self-lubricating and just require water to work, so you just need a little splash to activate and make it slippery – no lube required. This will make shower play simpler, less messy, and more natural without killing the mood. Other strokers are waterproof and easy to rinse clean. Most manual strokers fit in that category, so you may want to stick with that (though some powered strokers like the Lelo F1S V2X do claim to be fully waterproof)
Pay attention to the details, from ambiance to aftercare
Keeping things flowing naturally is all in the details. It starts with setting the mood with lighting and music so you both feel as relaxed as possible, and while people might think a little thing called lube is trivial, it’s absolutely crucial to avoid chafing. Lube increases glide, and while it might be awkward to apply in the moment, you can always lather up your blowjob toy with lube before your session so it doesn’t get in the way.
And finally, don’t forget about the aftercare. After a partnered session, especially after trying something new, you may want to cuddle, lightly stroke each other, or get one another a glass of water.
The bottom line
You don’t need a massive blowjob toy collection to have fun during foreplay. You just need to be open, curious, and willing to explore this new territory together. If you embrace all that, you’ll always be able to keep intimacy fresh and be able to minimise the awkwardness that many of us fear when bringing sex toys into the bedroom to spice things up!
