It’s Black Friday! You know what that means? It means cheap sex toys for everyone, and me having to send concerned emails to my bosses here at SexToys to ask ‘are you alright? Like, seriously, some of these are so heavily discounted I am pretty sure you pressed the wrong buttons.’
But while I urge whoever does the sale pricing to go and have a lie down, you have the chance to snap up some amazing bargains before Monday. In this blog post I’ve picked a few cheap sex toys that I think represent especially fabulous deals, but there are plenty more where these came from on the Black Friday sale page. And if that’s not enough, you can get 40% off any non-sale items using the code SAVE40.
Recently I did a blind test of masturbators, in which I laid my boyfriend on the sofa, naked from the waist down, and asked him to rate six different ones based on how nice they felt on his cock. I tell you, we know how to party on a Saturday night in my house. Anyway. This bargain masturbator passed the test with flying colours, which surprised me because as far as cheap sex toys go this one is an absolute steal: it normally retails for £7.95 (which is cheap enough as it is!) but right now you can pick it up for £3.95. That’s less than the cost of a pint, and I guarantee you it’ll bring you pleasure for a lot longer than a drink will!
I know, we’ve talked before about my total obsession with tail butt plugs. This one is extra special, though, coming as it does in magical rainbow colours. Usually you’d expect to shell out around £25 for one of these, but thanks to the magic of black friday, this one makes it onto my cheap sex toys list at just £7.95! Less than eight quid! It would be rude not to get one, really.
The chances of me getting my boyfriend to wear one of these are about the same as the chance that it will get delivered by flying pigs in Postman Pat costumes, but a girl can dream. If
you’re into chastity play, you’ll know already that the kit can be fairly pricey. You want to make sure that your cock is ensheathed in something comfortable and secure, after all, so you usually expect to have to pay a premium. Not today, though! This chastity device is worth £38.95, but thanks to the Black Friday discount you can get it for less than £15!
It’s my firm belief that every kinky home should own some sort of bit gag. Personally I enjoy a good bit gag because my partner can pull on the back of it and ride me like I’m an actual pony, but if puppy play is more your thing then I have good news: you can get a bone-shaped bit gag to sink your teeth into for just £9.95. And if you return to your master with cheap sex toys like this – quality but at a really low price – you’ll definitely get an ‘atta boy.’
It’s all I can do not to just fill this section with an overexcited all-caps rant about how ABSURDLY CHEAP this offer is, but I won’t because I have to pretend
to be professional. But I’m a massive fan of Tenga masturbators, and the fact that you can get one of (in my opinion) the best entry-level ones for only £17.95 (usually £39.95) means I would weep for any of you if you happened to miss out on this. These are strong, textured, easy-to-use masturbators that essentially feel like giving a hand job with superpowers. They’re not normally cheap sex toys, but they’re worth it, and if you manage to get one at this discount then you should reward yourself with a massive wankathon.
More people these days are getting curious about pegging (the term for when a woman puts on a strap on and shags a guy with it). But understandably, even people who are keen to try it are sometimes put off because they’re not sure what equipment to buy, and how to get started. Well, now’s your chance! This strap-on harness is less than £8, and all you need to do is twin it with your favourite dildo and you’re ready to go. Cheap sex toys are an excellent way to buy equipment to try out kinks you’re curious about, without having to worry about making a huge investment at the start.
If you’re a little more experienced, though, and you fancy trying out a strapless strap on, SexToys.co.uk has come through for you as well: this Simply Strapless large strap on (with vibrator for extra pleasure) is currently on sale for £19.95 (down from over 40 quid!)
Cheap sex toys can be decent sex toys!
I’ll leave you on a final note: cheap sex toys doesn’t have to mean low-quality sex toys. It just means that someone at the SexToys.co.uk office has decided to sell things at almost no margin whatsoever, to make sure that you can stock up on incredible things at low prices. Make the most of the incredible Black Friday bargains – and why not pick up a Christmas present or two while you’re here?