Masturbation Tips And Toys to Upgrade Your Solo Sex Routine
Let’s be clear: solo sex is sex, and it’s one of the best forms of pleasure and exploration. Whether you’re single, partnered, stressed, or just horny, reconnecting with your own body is one of the best ways to discover what feels good. But solo sex doesn’t have to mean the same quick and boring routine every time. With the right mindset, imagination, tools, and techniques, it can be just as mind-blowing as sex with another person. That’s why, we’re sharing the top masturbation tips, toy ideas, and other hacks to make your pleasure sessions better than ever.
What is solo sex?
Any sexual activity you enjoy by yourself counts as solo sex. This can include touching yourself, using sex toys, fantasising, watching, listening to erotic content, exploring new sensations, trying new positions, and experimenting with new things. Solo sex is so amazing because the experience is fully yours. There’s zero pressure to perform, explain what you want, or to orgasm (unless that’s what you want.) It’s pure exploration, on your terms. It can be slow and luxurious, or you can have a solo quickie.
And we’d like to make one important distinction: masturbation vs sex is a fake divide! Masturbation is no less than partnered sex. It’s a valid form of sex that can also help improve your partnered play by allowing you to understand your turn-ons, what kind of pressure or rhythm you like, your fantasies, and your boundaries. ‘
Good tips for masturbating to know before you reach for a toy
Before we dive into how to masturbate with sex toys, we invite you to rethink the basics. Many of us come up with one reliable masturbation habit, and we stick with it for years. There’s nothing wrong with that, but switching things up with the right masturbation tips can make solo sex feel exciting again, as it did when you first discovered it.
Slow down
Don’t rush towards the finish line of climax. Indulge in the build-up, the anticipation. Don’t head to your go-to spot or technique. Touch other parts of your body. Create ambience by putting on a sexy playlist and adjusting the lighting. Put your phone on do not disturb. Maybe even take a steamy bath first. Arousal becomes so much deeper when you give it the space to grow.
Try new rhythms, motions, and pressure
You can also mix things up with pressure and rhythm. Try going slower or faster than you usually do, and experiment with a lighter or firmer touch. Explore motions like tapping, circular patterns, grinding, or teasing yourself by getting close and backing off (more on that later). In other words, take the scenic route!
Add lube
Adding lube is another easy and accessible upgrade. Even if your body produces natural lubrication, adding in a silky lube (always water-based if you’re using toys) can help reduce friction, make a toy feel better, and allow you to play for longer. Silicone lube is great for non-toy use in a shower or bath.
Masturbation tips for women and people with vulvas
When people look up masturbation tips for women (a surprisingly common search term), they’re usually looking for ways to make solo sex feel better. One of our pro tips is to stop treating orgasm like the ultimate goal of your session. Explore the entire vulva, the inner thighs, your abdomen, chest, nipples, neck, and anywhere else that feels good.
If you usually go straight for the clitoris, consider indirect stimulation around the hood and surrounding area. If you usually opt for fingers, consider a bullet vibrator, suction toys, or G-spot vibes. If you normally lie on your back, consider sitting up, kneeling, or grinding against a toy through your panties or clothes.
A bullet like the FemmeFunn Booster Bullet is a great choice for beginners and more expert users alike, as it’s small, easy to manoeuvre and a go-to for external stimulation. If you prefer broader stimulation and more deep and rumbly vibrations, consider a wand like the The One Supreme Wand, which is brilliant for clit stimulation, body massage, exploring different erogenous zones, and teasing over clothes before things heat up a bit more.
FemmeFunn Booster Bullet Bullet
Male masturbator tips (and other masturbation tips for people with penises)
Stop dry gripping and try new methods
Our first tip that isn’t related to toys: stop dry-gripping! Add lube (lotion can contain irritants and fragrances that cause issues). Other tips you can implement without toys are to switch up your grip, motion, speed, and end goal. Switch up your hands, vary your pressure, and explore new zones like the balls, perineum, nipples, and inner thighs. Use a twisting motion instead of up and down, or if you usually masturbate with a firm death grip, try a lighter touch.
Experimenting with different methods can also help you last longer during partnered sex and bring new toys and techniques into foreplay. When you’re only used to one kind of touch, your body often only responds to that stimulation, making it more difficult to get aroused or stay aroused while you’re playing with a partner.
You can try new positions like lying on your back, standing in the shower, or using pillows to change the angle. The goal isn’t just to finish faster, but to discover new ways that your body can experience pleasure.
Bring in strokers and other toys
If you want to take things to the next level with toys, a stroker like The One Suction Stroker or The One Open-Ended Stroker can bring in new sensations while reducing the friction that can come from dry or overly tight gripping. Add plenty of water-based lube inside the toy and start slowly.
Open-ended strokers are versatile as they can be used in different ways and feel like a handjob. They can be used with a partner or during solo sex when you want more control over pressure and rhythm. A close-ended stroker can also add intensity, letting the toy do more of the work and bringing more sensation into the mix with a tight feel.
There are also manual and automatic strokers. A manual stroker may be a more approachable option that lets you have more control over rhythm, pressure, and speed, whereas an automatic stroker can bring in more unique sensations like suction, rotation, and vibration.
Create a DIY stroker
If you’re still not sure you want to invest in a stroker, you can put a generous amount of lube inside a condom and use it as a makeshift stroker. It’s easy, low-cost, and creates that smooth and contained sensation which allows you to preview what a stroker would feel like.
Wicked Sensual Aqua Water-Based Lubricant
Vibration without strokers
You can also bring vibration into penis play without a stroker. For instance, you can use a partner’s bullet vibrator or wand, pressing it against the shaft, head, perineum, or testicles. A toy like Nutty Buddy, which is a cock ring that also encases the testicles in a vibrating cup. This can allow for longer sessions, and it can be combined with other sex toys like strokers and vibrators.
Explore hands-free prostate play
Did you know you can have an orgasm without stimulating the penis at all? The male G-spot, aka the prostate, exists an inch or two inside the anus. Consider exploring it externally first, pressing against the perineum with fingers, and then inserting a finger inside the opening. Eventually, you may want to graduate to a hands-free vibrating prostate toy like the Aneros Eupho Syn V, which comes with a remote control.
Try a vibrating feather tickler for solo foreplay – perfect for all bodies
Feather ticklers are a common way to explore sensation play alone or with a partner, but they are also one of our favourite masturbation tips for taking pleasure to the next level. A vibrating silicone tickler is a way to explore outercourse, teasing, and light touch, allowing for sensory stimulation. It’s also easy to clean!
The Tickler Vibrating Silicone Feather Tickler
How to have solo sex with sex toys
It starts with choosing the right toy to get the type of sensation you want. If you want maximum power, a wand is your best bet. If you want targeted precision, a bullet is better. If you want suction or indirect stimulation, try an air pulse toy. Hands-free stimulation can be achieved with a toy mount or insertable wearable toys.
Luxe - Wearable Vibrating Slim Small Plug
Introduce toys gradually and start on the lowest setting, perhaps testing the toys on less sensitive areas first. This can not only give you a preview and help you reduce overstimulation, but can also build anticipation and make direct contact feel more intense if and when you do finally get there.
Other masturbation tips everyone can bring into their routine
Bring in edging
Edging is when you bring yourself close to orgasm, then slow down or stop at the brink of orgasm before starting up again. It can make pleasure last longer and lead to a more intense final climax. Sex toys make edging easier as they offer consistent sensation. With vibrators and suction toys on lower settings, build slowly.
When you feel yourself getting there, move the toy away to the lowest intensity. With a stroker, slow pace as you approach climax. Pause completely, breathing deeply and giving yourself time before continuing.
Try audio erotica and mental fantasy
Using your imagination is one of the best masturbation tips we can provide. Visual porn isn’t the only way to get over the edge, and for people who aren’t interested in it or find it difficult to stay present during solo sex, audio erotica is the perfect compromise. It gives your imagination something to work with but doesn’t require staring at a screen, letting you stay in the moment with toys and letting the story set the pace.
Another way to use your imagination is to use your own fantasies, memories, or imagined scenarios, whether they’re romantic, playful, or absolutely filthy. They don’t need to reflect what you want in real life, but they can help you explore your kinks!
Experiment with solo temperature play
Warming and cooling lubes can be the perfect intro to temperature play, but be sure to patch test them first. Even warming regular lube between your hands can create a more sensual feel. You can also explore temperature play by warming a toy in your hands, placing a waterproof toy in warm water before use, or cooling a glass or metal toy that’s designed for temperature play.
Wicked Ultra Heat Warming Silicone-Based Lubricant
Watch yourself in the mirror for some solo voyeurism
Voyeurism doesn’t just need to mean watching your partner. In fact, mirror play is one of the most empowering masturbation tips we can give you. While it might feel awkward at first, it can also build confidence. Sit in front of a mirror with a toy or just your hands, slowly touching and noticing how your body reacts. This is also a fab activity to pair with sex toys or a tickler. You don’t need to stare at yourself the whole time. This isn’t about pressure or performing – it’s about being a witness to your own pleasure.
Why solo sex matters
Solo sex is real sex. It’s also a great way to de-stress, educate yourself sexually, boost your self-esteem, and improve partnered sex. There’s nothing more powerful than knowing what kind of touch, toys, and fantasies work for you, and having that knowledge makes it easier to communicate your needs with partners. Also, a reminder that masturbation isn’t a threat if you’re in a relationship! It’s an important part of a healthy sex life.
If your masturbation routine feels stale, consider this guide a checklist to tackle slowly rather than implement everything at once. Solo sex is an opportunity to get curious and give yourself permission to play in a creative, satisfying way, so what are you waiting for?
