Bisexual Men: How To Unlock Your Deepest Pleasure
Top Pleasure Tips And Advice From A Specialist Bisexual Sex Coach
Bisexual people often get ignored. We can sometimes fade into the background and are assumed to be gay or straight depending on the gender of our partners. This means that our needs and desires can get overlooked, too. It can be hard to communicate what makes us feel good with partners who might not understand our identities, and it’s also common to worry about the societal stigma that comes with being bisexual.
This Bi Visibility Day, I’ve teamed up with sextoys.co.uk to bring you my top advice for exploring and enjoying your ultimate pleasure as a bisexual man*. Here are my 5 top tips (with recommendations) for experiencing your whole sexual self as a bisexual man.
Sex toys as tools for sensation & self-discovery
As bisexual men, we often don’t get the chance to explore our crushes or sexual desires with peers growing up. Some parts of ourselves may feel more “acceptable” to society and get prioritised over others, leaving us feeling incomplete.
Sex toys can help us explore, play, and learn about ourselves in ways we wouldn’t otherwise be able to. Whether we have a partner or not, investing in self-pleasure can be a great way to give space to those sides of our sexuality that don’t often get to feel seen.
I love the Happy Ending Sleeve Whack Pack. It’s super simple, compact, and easy to use. It’s discreet and transportable, and it feels absolutely amazing. Something simple like this can make your alone time feel that bit more special. It feels like someone else is stroking you (and it’s up to you to imagine who that might be!).
Happy Ending Just Add Water Whack Pack - Cuff
Prostate massagers for deeper pleasure
Lots of men, no matter their sexuality, are realising just how amazing a prostate massager can feel. As bi guys, we’re often up for trying new things, but sometimes feel held back by hetero norms. A prostate massager is a great way to explore just how much pleasure this part of your body can give.
Anal sex can take some getting used to, so using a toy to try, is a great idea. It can also be perfect if your partner doesn’t have a penis. I speak to hundreds of women, for example, who love pleasuring their male partner this way, so don’t assume they won’t!
The Intro to Prostate Play Kit from Zero Tolerance is a great starter kit for beginners. It has four different shapes to explore and find what works for you. Again, it’s simple, easy to use, and super affordable too!
Fun and explorative play with partners
Sometimes, as bi people, we struggle to explore our full range of fantasies. It can be hard to communicate our desires or to know where we can expand boundaries. A board game or card game can be a fun, lighthearted way to explore different things, while promoting conversation and communication around kinks or fantasies.
Erotic games can also be a great icebreaker if you’re inviting others into your relationship. Maybe you enjoy group sex, threesomes, or kinky parties. Games can be a fun way to experience new things while encouraging discussion and consent.
The game Fetish Fun is a great way to explore new kinks, fetishes, roles, positions, and more. There are many games available to choose from for all different types of people.
Enjoying different roles and positions with strap-on toys
Bisexual people break gender norms. We can be attracted to a diverse array of gender expressions, roles, body types, and personalities. Toys can help us give and receive pleasure in ways that our bodies alone may not manage. They can be gender-affirming and help us feel fully ourselves.
Strap-ons can be enjoyed by anyone, of any gender. They can bring a whole new dynamic to a sexual relationship and allow partners to experience intimacy in new ways. The Fetish Fantasy Series First Timer’s Strap-on Set is perfect for the job. It’s secure, easy to use, and works with different dildos or vibrators to suit your comfort.
Follow your highest pleasure
As bi people, we often feel we can’t experience our full selves. We may shut off parts of ourselves to be palatable, or play down certain desires. This is understandable because we live in a society that doesn’t always understand or accept us. But if we can at least get to know and honour our own desires, investing in enjoying them to the fullest by ourselves first, it becomes easier to communicate that confidently to others.
Take a breath, feel into your body, and ask yourself: what would make my body feel more comfort, more pleasure right now? See if you can give yourself that, and go from there.
If you’d like more information on all things bi, check out my book Fluid: For People With Flexible Sexuality, available to order online now, or visit www.notdefining.com for 1:1 coaching, mentoring, and much more…
