If the answer to that question isn’t ‘yes’ then I want to know whether you’ve been sex doll shopping while you’re on actual LSD. Meet Rainbow Dash – a blow-up doll modeled on My Little Pony.
Look at her. Look. At. Her. She is beautiful, as only an inflatable human-sized My Little Pony could be.
It popped up on Buzzfeed earlier this week, the creation of the Guangzhou Hongyi Toy Manufacturing Company. OK, I admit it – it’s not specifically designed as a sex doll. The company coyly explains that it’s great for ‘parties’ as well as ‘backyard’ entertainment. And we can’t see that it has any holes. But a bikini-clad, semi-humanoid, blow-up My Little Pony doll? Yeah, we think it’s for sex.
For those of you who might understandably be asking ‘why would someone make a My Little Pony doll for sex purposes?’ my immediate answer is – why the hell not? One of the most amazing things about sex toys is they allow you to live out fantasies with partners you might not be able to have in real life. Why, on this very site we’ve got a sex doll that’s a bit like (but crucially not exactly like, or someone will probably get sued) Justin Bieber. Oh, and one that’s a bit like Katy Perry. If you fancy a threesome? Well, there’s a matched pair of sex dolls for that.
If sex toys do one thing it’s fulfill fantasies that might not be possible otherwise. And that includes those who fantasise about My Little Ponies.
Do people fantasise about My Little Pony?
Bear with me while I give you a very brief history of a group of people called ‘Bronies.’ ‘Brony’ is a word for an adult who has a fan-level enthusiasm for My Little Pony. A Brony could be anyone from a casual collector to a full-blown enthusiast, dying their hair in various pony-type colours and attending one of the meetings that is often held by the community.
Those who really really like My Little Ponies? Who fantasise about pony-shagging? They’re called ‘cloppers’, apparently, and I’m guessing they’re the main target market for this kind of doll.
This is why sex toys are brilliant – the human mind comes up with some of the most unique and fascinating fantasies. Things that might make one person laugh may make another shudder with arousal, thus proving my point that imagination is one of the sexiest things in the world.
Unfortunately, the more outlandish our fantasies, the less likely we are to be able to fulfill them in real life. That’s where sex toys come in.
While plenty of people (and some commenters on the My Little Pony Sex Doll article are no exception) will laugh at the idea of a bright blue, horselike inflatable doll, but others will go ‘OMG I am so glad they FINALLY made something like this.’
After all, if you can use the miracle of sex toy engineering to get a blow-job from a vampire, then why the hell not have sex with a plastic horse?
My only real question is one of accuracy: I used to play with My Little Ponies when I was little. I remember their colourful hair, the pictures tattooed on their hindquarters, and the cutesy names like ‘Princess SparkleKnickers’. But, oddly enough, I never remember the ponies having tits.