Five awesome places to go on holiday if you really really want to see a sex museum.
January is the best time of year to book a holiday, because it is the WORST time of year overall. Everything’s cold and grey and rainy, and it’s all you can do to drag yourself into the office for yet another day tallying spreadsheets for a boss you hate. So if you’re thinking of booking your annual holidays, allow me to suggest a few places you could go to if you’re looking to take in a bit of sex culture while you’re away.
Yes, obviously Amsterdam is going to be on this list. I’ve been to the sex museum on the Damrak and I can tell you that while it’s ultimately a little bit disappointing (or at least, it was five years ago), you can cheer yourself up with the fact that in Amsterdam there’s a whole bunch of other stuff to entertain you. Fondue, beer, coffee shops, and of course all the sex shops where you can watch ‘adult films’ in your own private booth.
The Shanghai sex museum houses a phenomenally impressive collection of stone penises, ranging from the huge to the tiny. It’s also a genuinely good museum, with tonnes of info on sexual culture and history. So, you know, not one of those places you go to for a quick peek and leave feeling a bit dirty. Comparing some of the older dildos carved from solid rock to our more modern silicon dildos makes you thankful you live in the 21st Century.
What’s more, Shanghai itself is a fantastic city to visit, and while you’re there you can head to some of the other top tourist destinations in China, such as the amazing terracotta army or the panda sanctuary at Chengdu. How many of your friends will be able to boast that they’ve seen penises and pandas in the same trip?
If your niche area of interest is specifically the human penis, then travel no further than Reykjavik. The Iceland Phallological Museum, in Iceland’s capital, is home to what has to be the largest collection of penises outside my own bedside drawer.
The exhibits range from a 170 cm blue whale’s penis to a hamster penis that measures just 2mm, and can only be seen with the aid of a magnifying glass. If you’ve got a strong stomach, you can also have a look at some ‘arts and crafts’, by which they essentially mean objects made from the skin of penises and testicles.
Look, I’m not saying you have to hop on a plane and go stare at some whale penis in order to have a good time, but what’s the alternative? A package holiday somewhere sunny where there’s nothing to do but burn yourself to a crisp? Some godawful ‘adventure’ trip where you’ll be knackered by the fourth day and crying out for wine? I’m telling you: sex-related holidays are where it’s at. If your budget, time, or adventure doesn’t stretch to leaving the country, then you could always check out some UK-based sex events.