How to pick the right strap-on harness

A good strap-on harness is like a car: invest in one you love, because it’ll be with you for a really long time.


Picking a strap-on harness can be a tricky business. There are so many strap-on harnesses to choose from, and so much at stake: you want something comfortable, functional and beautiful, which ideally will last for as long as you want to keep using it.

Recently two of my friends have asked me for recommendations. So there’s either something in the water, or there’s a serious lack of good strap-on harness advice out there. Here’s my guide to picking one that suits you.

Consider what you need

Sometimes it’s nice to be told ‘just buy that one’ – the agony of indecision can be tricky, and it’s tempting to go for the first one you see. But a strap-on harness is pretty personal, so first you need to consider what you’re after.

Which is more important to you: how it looks or how it works? Do you want a pocket in the harness that can hold a vibrator? Do you want a plus-sized harness? How easy are the straps to adjust?

Picture yourself putting it on in the throes of passion: is it easy to do?

The strap-on delight boasts an elasticated waist, which is adjustable, so if you’re looking for something simple which you can just slip on like a pair of pants, then that will do the job:

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However, if you want something sturdier, then the Sportsheets new comers has straps which adjust like backpack buckles, giving you a comfier fit.

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Personally, I also like a strap-on harness that frames my bum nicely. Just in case there’s a selection of mirrors in the room that will show it off while I’m shagging. Anything with a shape like this Basix rubber works harness will frame your bottom beautifully.

Once you’ve decided which harness you like, you need to chat to the person you’ll be pegging to find out what kind of dildo they’re after. If you’ve never pegged someone before, I’d recommend picking something slightly smaller than you think you’ll need, but that all depends on whether you like a challenge.

The most important thing is that – unless you’ve expressly agreed a consensual BDSM dynamic – the person on the receiving end should always choose the dildo. In my opinion that’s just good manners. Then check the harness you’re planning to buy to make sure it will fit your chosen dildo. Many harnesses are universal, but it’s best to make sure.

As you can tell, I’m not going to give you instructions on which strap-on harness to buy: you need to browse what’s on offer and make your own choice. What works for me may not work for you, and vice versa. The most important thing to remember, though, is that hopefully when you’ve used it a few times, you’ll love your strap-on harness as much as you love any of your other sex toys: so it’s worth investing in one that’s just right.

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