What is Black Friday?
Black Friday is the day after
Thanksgiving in the US. Once all the turkey is eaten, and the family
have finished having a big row, many people start preparing to hit
the shops. Some retailers open early on Black Friday – often to
long queues of excited customers waiting outside the door – and
plenty of them also offer juicy discounts to tempt those shoppers to
queue in the first place.
Black Friday is often an excuse for
people to get some early Christmas shopping done, so if you’re
feeling organised use Black Friday to bag some early
Not to be left out of the discount
orgy, Sex Toys has come up with some amazing deals on cool sex toys.
I can’t possibly highlight all of them here, so I’ve picked a few
intriguing choices from the list as my personal favourites. If you’d
like to explore yourself – check
the Black Friday Sex Toy deals here.
Candy Kegel Smart Trainer
If there’s one thing that perfectly
appeals to both my competitive spirit and my desire to put things
inside my vagina, it’s kegel trainers. Believe it or not, I have
never owned one of my own, I suspect because I’ve been waiting for
exactly the kind of smart gadgetry that’s included with the Imtoy
version. Long story short, this kegel trainer hooks up to a phone app
which allows you to track the improvement as you work on your kegel
muscle strength. Might pick up one of these myself. With any luck
I’ll be cracking walnuts with it just in time for Christmas.
*Note: do not actually put walnuts in
These get my vote for two reasons.
Firstly (and most obviously) because ankle restraints are hot. Use
them during bent-over sex as a kind of trust exercise – with one of
you holding the other up as they wobble on their restrained ankles.
Naturally if you do this (as I do, frequently), you want to make sure
the person holding up is capable of catching you if you trip, or
alternatively stick a cushion down to catch them if they fall.
The second reason you should grab these
is because they are an absolute steal at £5 a set. They’re usually
nearer £20, and they’re beautiful enough that no one will ever guess
you picked them up for less than the price of a Domino’s pizza.
If your budget is tight, then you’re
probably on the lookout for some seriously wallet-friendly Black
Friday sex toy deals. For you I would suggest checking out the Loving
Joy range: silicone vibrators in three different shapes, all for less
than £13. It can often be hard finding budget vibrators in silicone,
but because it’s Black Friday Sex Toys has made that dream come true.
So whether you’re after a bullet, rabbit or G-spot vibe, now’s the
time to grab one.
BKK Virtual reality masturbator
Welcome to the future of wanking. Well,
one of many futures of wanking to be precise – there are more
fantastic sex tech gadgets on the market at the moment than even a
pervert like me could hope for. Many – like the BKK – are
designed to be used in conjunction with porn to provide an immersive
A long time ago, a philosopher called
Robert Nozick proposed the idea of an ‘experience machine’ – a
machine you could plug directly into, which would give you
pleasurable experiences for as long as you remained connected.
Devices like the BKK are basically this, but with a focus on purely
sexual pleasure. If you’ve never watched VR porn before, then the
porn itself will probably blow your mind. The addition of the BKK –
which has motion sensors so the porn and masturbation sync up –
might cause you to give up on life altogether and just spend the rest
of it in your bedroom. Addictive? Maybe. Fun? Oh hell yes.
So go and make the most of a Black Friday sex toy deal without shattering your wallet, or if you’re organised you can stock up on sexy presents for Christmas. After all, there’s no point taking traditions from our American pals if we don’t make the most of them. I’m off to watch Friends and imagine I know how to cook a turkey.