Men and women are increasingly using sex toys when masturbating. In some cases unfortunately this can lead to a partner feeling jealous or insecure. Confidence can be knocked when a partner begins to use a sex toy as you may feel you are no longer adequate.

It is easy for a man to feel that his penis can’t compete with a vibrator, as a vibrator requires very little effort and has many different functions – you just turn it on and hey presto orgasmic bliss.

The simplest solution is to involve your toys into lovemaking, using sex toys during intercourse, can make you more excited and multi-orgasmic. Many men get pleasure from a woman who is visually enjoying sex, and her orgasms can turn him on and increase his own orgasm strength.

Communicate through words and actions that your partner is more important to you than your sex toys, that the physical and emotional connection you have is more important than the gratification you have from a toy. Try and make them feel as comfortable as possible with the concept, perhaps make a compromise about when and how much you use it. Try to re-assure them that they are not being replaced by a toy as you don’t want your relationship to suffer. The key is to use sex toys as an accompaniment to your existing relationship and sex life.

If you do use toys during intercourse try to vary when you use them, try and discard them for a short while showing him that he indeed can do it for you, if you do find that without the toy things are not as good as they could be, show him how you like to be stimulated during sex, or use your own fingers to do so yourself, try different positions and find what works best for both of you as a couple.

Try mutual masturbation, show them how you like it, and in turn get them to do the same, see if your toy can increase their pleasure when they masturbate, soft vibrations against the scrotum can increase a man’s orgasm strength, and send him completely to jelly.

Try not to have double standards, if you’re a woman and your man uses pornography to help him masturbate, try not to take offence, both genders find different things stimulating, why not suggest he tries a sex toy himself. Choose something together that he feels may work for him. Let him relax and experiment on his own first, let him become comfortable with the concept of using sex toys to masturbate, for most men it is a alien concept as they have an easier way of stimulating themselves.