Call me naïve, but I’m always surprised when I hear people tell me that they sometimes fake their orgasms. I mean, I just don’t get it. Why would you do that? Who benefits from that? I’ve heard reasons like, ‘I was bored and wanted to get it over with’, ‘I wanted them to feel good about themselves’ and ‘I didn’t want them to think it was difficult to make me come’.
The thing is, if you fake your orgasm you are sending your partner a million wrong and/or mixed messages and ultimately no one benefits. It’s likely that if you’re moaning and groaning and telling your partner how fabulous they make you feel that they’ll keep doing the same things. After all, they think they’ve found just the right moves, just the right spot to send you into ecstasy. That means that you’re never going to receive pleasure the way you want it so then you have to keep faking it and before you know it there is a vicious circle going on and no one is winning.
Instead, find ways to point your partner in the right direction. Tell them what they do that you love and gently instruct them in other things they could try. Ask them what they would like you to do. Find a way to keep communication open and honest. You’ll both be happy that you did!