If you’ve got a prostate but you’ve never quite used it to its full potential, I’m here to give you an eager run-down of why prostate massage is so awesome, and how to get started.
The first time I ever masturbated was a bit like that moment in the Wizard of Oz, when everything turns to colour and Dorothy sees that the world can be a shiningly beautiful place, filled with munchkins and lollipops.
OK, maybe not exactly like that, but you get the idea.
Now, while I can occasionally get that feeling again (if I discover a sex toy that does something unusually new and powerful to my junk, for instance), I will never have quite the same revelatory moment as I had when I experienced my first orgasm.
However, if you have a prostate, and you have not yet explored it, then maybe this Wizard of Oz dream can come true for you.
The term ‘prostate massage’ isn’t particularly sexy, although I guess ‘bum fun’ doesn’t have a more erotic ring to it either, but trust me: it can be exceptionally hot. Here’s the deal: while I sadly have no prostate, I can enjoy a good butt plug or anal toy, ideally slipped inside me just before sex, so I can enjoy the sensation of being filled up when the penetration begins. However, if you have a prostate, you get that delightful sensation AND THEN SOME, because your prostate is super-sensitive.
Hence: anal toys will have a more intense effect on the prostate havers than the prostate have-nots.
How to massage the prostate
It’s tricky to do on your own without a toy, so while couples can explore with a finger or two, curling the finger towards the front of the body and getting your partner to direct you until you hit the right spot, if you’re testing on your own you’ll probably want something designed for it.
While butt-plugs have a uniform shape, prostate massagers tend to be curved, so they’ll help you hit the sweet spot with the minimum of messing about.
Can I orgasm just from prostate massage?
Some people can – I have known a couple of guys who have happily spaffed so hard it hit the headboard, just from judicious use of a couple of fingers or a toy. Others require a bit more stimulation: whether it’s with your hand, or your favourite masturbator or sex doll. Some people won’t be keen on prostate play full stop, and that’s cool: as with all sex acts, they’re never compulsory. Consider me your tour guide, showing you around some of the delights, but never compelling you to buy shit from the gift shop.
If you are tempted, though, have a browse of all these excellent prostate massagers, or perhaps some budget anal toys if you just want to dip your toe in the water of bum stuff, and don’t forget to stock up on your favourite lube.
And please do enjoy yourself – as I say, I’ve known gents who’ve found this so awesome that the… umm… visual and physical effects of their first ever prostate massage were pretty spectacular indeed. Lube up, insert, and remember: you’re not in Kansas any more.
(Yes, I have been waiting through the entire blog post to make that joke, thanks)