It was a dark and stormy night. The wind whistled through the treetops like the clamouring of lost souls. From a crumbling cottage nestled somewhere on a dark hill, came a piercing, soul-shattering shriek… someone had forgotten to get a Halloween costume, and there was a party next weekend.
Luckily for our hero, the story does not need to end with misery, or a zombie apocalypse, because thanks to SexToys there are plenty of Halloween outfits that you can pick up this week, and ensure they’re delivered ready for whichever spooky party you’re heading to this weekend.
Personally, I am The Worst at any kind of fancy dress, and when Halloween rolls round, if I’m actually invited to any parties, I panic-buy talcum powder and fake blood on the morning of the party, and try to cobble together a vaguely zombie-esque getup in the vain hope that people will think I’ve made an effort. If you like to dress up, and you’re not keen on spending a week custom-making your own ‘Alien vs Predator’ themed costume, then why not pick up one of these sexy numbers?
Fever blood stained white stockings
If what you’re after is a bit of gore, and you’ve got the rest of your costume sorted, these stockings are just a few quid and they’ll round off your outfit nicely. Goes well with: zombie costumes, sexy yet incompetent nurse/doctor costumes, and the aching shrieks of the recently damned.
Fever skeleton costume
If you believe ‘less is more’ when it comes to fashion, then this ensemble takes away everything except the bare bones. Get it? I know, I’m brilliant at puns. As far as last-minute sexy Halloween costumes go, you can’t say fairer than something that costs less than 25 quid, and essentially forms a complete set – no need to nip to Poundland for a bottle of ketchup to finish it off. Goes well with: a group of friends who are all dressed as hungry piranhas.
Fever sexy witch costume
Accio sexy costume! (OK, that’s basically the only Harry Potter spell I know, apart from Avada Kedavra, and I figured that one’s a bit too dark for a light-hearted Halloween post). This one comes with the hat and the choker, so all you need are your dancing shoes and you’re ready to party. Goes well with: a magic wand, with which you can perform spells. Or an even more magic wand, with which you can do better…
Fever spiderweb tights
If you’re just after a little something to put a Halloween edge to your clothes, these spiderweb tights are not only a bargain, they’re also exactly the sort of thing my teenage goth self would have swooned over. Down to £2.95 from just under six quid, they’re also a bargain way to show people that you’ve made the effort, without actually having to make any effort. Goes well with: a grumpy stare and the assertion that ‘I don’t really do fancy dress but I tried.’ In case you were wondering, this is what I’ll be wearing. And I wonder why no one invites me to parties.
If you’re just after the ‘sexy’ and you don’t necessarily need something spooky, there are lots of other options – sexy nurse, sexy convict, sexy police officer – the list goes on. Just check out the clothing section for a bit more inspiration.
If you ask me, the benefit to any of these costumes isn’t just that they get you out of having to home-make a Halloween costume, it’s that they can be used all year round for sexy role play. Boring Saturday nights can be enlivened if you and your partner pop your costumes on, and act out whatever scene first comes to mind:
- Zombie skeleton is arrested by sexy police officer and taken to the cells for a boning.
- Sexy nurse tries to patch up a bleeding witch, and they end up taking advantage of the medical equipment for some seriously kinky play…
You get the picture. Feel free to embellish, add your own in the comments, and let me know what you’ll be dressing up as this Halloween…