Sex in the shower just got way easier

Some people like to live life on the edge. Whether it’s bunjy jumping, go-kart racing, or the kind of sex that my own clumsy self would be far too wobbly to contemplate. If you’re someone who likes to indulge in shower-based sex, then the whole thing just got a bit easier.

I was stuck for inspiration on what to write about today, so I went browsing through the discounted products to see if there were any gems that could do with a bit more love. And I found a couple of things that I’d never seen before: shower sex aids.

If you like shagging in the shower, you’ll probably have noticed that the whole thing is incredibly slippery. It’s hard enough with water and soap everywhere, then as soon as you start throwing lube into the mix you’re likely to act like a Wetherspoons patron at closing time on a Friday: i.e. you’ll fall over. Repeatedly.

Enter the suction-lock handle.

I’m sure you get the idea – using the suction pads, this handle will stick to the walls of your shower and give you something to hang onto. The aim being that it stops you from falling over and means you avoid those clumsy moments that interrupt your otherwise horny shagging for a trip to A+E. While I wouldn’t advise you hang your entire weight off it, it can be really handy for balance especially if, like me, you’re about as graceful as a dog wearing flippers. Let that image sink in for a bit.

If you need more purchase, there’s even a handy footrest thing:

Useful if your main problem with shower sex is that you can’t get enough purchase to have the kind of vigorous shag that you’d usually get when there’s a bed post to brace against.

My only issue with both of these products is that they’re sold purely for use in the shower. I’m not a fan of shower sex, because often the sex juices wash away under the faucet (silicon-based lube can help with this but you might have to hide it away in your bathroom cabinet when visitors come around). And for those of us who don’t shag in the shower, I think products like this could be modified for use all around the house.

Handles for purchase? Awesome – but let’s not just use them in the shower. I’d quite like a pair for my hallway, which is one of the most enjoyable places to have a stand-up shag. What’s more, they could make excellent props when you’re engaging in kinky play – a quick and simple handle which you can tie someone to, before teasing, spanking, or whatever else tickes your fancy (perhaps even tickling, if that’s your fetish). The footrest could be useful in the living room, where sex on or over the sofa could be significantly enhanced by a bit more purchase to brace myself against.

In short: these handles and rests are a cracking idea, and far more sex needs to be had in places where there’s something to brace yourself against. After all, power is fun, and while it’s nice to have a lazy, gentle shag, there are some days when you just want to put your back into it.

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