I’m a bloke. Which male sex toy should I start off with?

If you’re a guy heading out on your first adventures with sex toys, allow this week’s guest blogger – JustIndecerous – to guide you on your way…


My high school English teacher always told me that the best way to begin any essay or article is with a quote, and I always thought he was a wise man so here it is: “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I cannot for the life of me remember the name of the author of this quote but I remember exactly what she was wearing in the interview room when she asked me the question. I also remember that I didn’t respond something like this “In 5 years I will spend half of every day, talking about, writing about and making videos about sex and sex toys. For a quarter of the day I will be either be having sex, putting my cock into new and interesting things, or new and interesting things into me. The final third of the day I will sleep and have nightmares of my maths teacher waving a ruler at me because I can’t do fractions well”.

I also didn’t answer that I would be single in that time and not have the same access to the aforementioned girlfriends various orifices at any time I so pleased – perks of being the Dominant in a D/s relationship. Suddenly all of those sex toys that were an addition to regular bedroom play have become the regular bedroom play for the time being. You can chuckle at that if you wish, I’m here to inform and entertain and should you find that in my pain – then I am happy, bitterly happy and you are a horrible person but I’m happy nonetheless.

I’m going to make a somewhat harsh but mostly true generalisation here and say that as guys we are not good at talking about things with each other when it comes to what goes on inside our bedrooms – or at least what’s actually true. Wanking is a given, we all do it, we all know that we all do it and we poke fun at each other about it as has been the natural order of things since we were about 13 years old. Bring up a conversation about sex toys and it will revolve around your girlfriends vibrator collection or the blindfold she asked you to use with those fluffy handcuffs she bought. The idea that as guys we may be using toys ourselves, by ourselves is still a very foreign concept for many that has a certain level of stigma attached to it though there needn’t be.

For the ladies there was that Sex & the City moment that brought the rabbit vibrator to a worldwide audience and all of a sudden or so it seemed vibrators became the accessory in almost every woman’s bedside drawer. The industry has since made leaps and bounds both in terms of innovation and financial success and has slowly but surely begun to provide male orientated sex toys for us to have our happy time with. It’s not as though there haven’t been male toys in the past, there but until relatively recently you’d be forgiven for thinking it was inflatable sex dolls or nothing. These of course still exist but the industry has moved on a lot and now there are even more options for the adventurous connoisseur of self pleasure.

Lets start off simple. The good old cock ring comes in any number of materials and sizes, some go around the base of the shaft, some go around your member and his two mates. Nothing intimidating here right? Trust me it’s not – I have a real metal ring that actually goes through my best friend. These are a walk in the park. Why use them though? They don’t look like much but a good cock ring will give you a harder/stronger erection, that means there’s more blood down there which means ultimately more sensation for you.

 

Once you have popped your sex toy cherry with that simple addition why not kick it up a notch and have a go at a male masturbator? These aren’t quite as inconspicuous as I simple cock ring and not as easy to hide when your mates pop round. But as I said earlier, we all do this so why should we care what they think? Masturbators come in many forms from just a simple sleeve that is textured for you cock to slide through. Fleshlights, the current reigning champion of the masturbator in my opinion that has every fake orifice on offer, a few freaky ones to boot and most likely a mold of your favourite adult performer’s pretty parts. If you want a bit more bump with your grind check out the fuck me silly masturbator (which I want just because when you spank it, it sounds real and I live for that sound!)

 

Here’s where I may lose a few of you and that’s fine but hear me out because I’m going to talk about you putting things up your bum. Now I could spout on about how the sphincter has a tonne of new endings which feel good when stimulated or that having a good butt plug in there while you orgasm feels fantastic as your sphincter contracts what you are really after is prostate stimulation. If you are brave enough to take the plunge so to speak with a prostate massager, vibrating or otherwise and hit that P-spot I guarantee you any other solo orgasm will feel like bitter regret in comparison. If you are straight it will not make you gay, trust me on this. After years of putting things up there I’m either doing it wrong or it just doesn’t work that way!

 

The most important thing is to just try stuff out, find what feels good for you and there’s no shame in whatever toys you enjoy using, there never was. Not matter if you’re in a relationship or otherwise. Happy wanking.

Justin is a sex blogger with a passion for all things sex related, particularly BDSM. Frequently tying people up in order to experiment on them with sex toys in search of the perfect scream of pleasure & pain. A legend in his own mind he writes, reviews and makes videos over at www.justindecerous.com

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