Be mindful of the things you say

It’s so easy to say harsh things or be more critical of our partners when we’re tired, overworked, or stressed. Whether we’re complaining about the washing up or how they didn’t do just the right thing to turn you on, these negative comments often hit harder than they’re intended. Negative feelings and thoughts have a heavier impact on a person than positive ones. They can sort of cause a shock in the system. Over time this can build up and affect our self-esteem and our relationships.

Be mindful of the things you say to your partner and how you say them. If you’re not enjoying the way they’re touching you, tell them gently. ‘Hey honey, I love when you stroke my pussy, but could you be a bit softer please?’ will go down much smoother than ‘You’re not doing it right, what’s wrong with you?’

If you do get a bit snappy or short tempered, don’t be afraid to apologise. If you can’t quite stretch to an apology, at least counter balance what you said in a heated moment with something more positive later. Give them a compliment, do something nice for them or offer a loving touch.

Good communication is essential in a relationship and especially in a sexual relationship. We all get tired and snappy from time to time, just don’t hesitate to take responsibility for it and make amends if needed.

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