FREE NEXT DAY SHIPPING WHEN YOU SPEND £30 - ENDING IN T & C's Apply Dismiss

3 things you can learn from watching your partner masturbate

Watching your partner masturbate isn’t just worth doing because it’s sexy: it can be a fun learning experience too! Here are three things I’ve learned from watching my partners masturbate…

1. How they like to be touched

I’m a fan of watching guys masturbate and I’ve always been keen to see my partners get themselves off, but it’s not just about the simple pervy joy of watching someone you love in the throes of pleasure. Watching someone wank is like getting a masterclass in how to get them off, and if you take notes (mental notes are fine – a pen and paper might kill the mood a little!) on what they like, you’ll be even better equipped to get them off well the next time you’re trying it.

Pay attention to everything: from speed to the specific areas they touch, pressure, rhythm… Do they tend to start off slowly and then speed up? Do they prefer direct stimulation or – especially when it comes to clitoral masturbation – would they rather stimulate around the clitoris rather than on it directly? How hard do they squeeze/rub/press? Do they stimulate just their genitals or do they use another hand to touch other areas too like the nipples, perineum or balls? There are so many different ways to masturbate that it’s impossible to tell exactly what one person likes just by guessing – great hand jobs require great communication, and showing is often much easier than trying to explain.

2. Techniques they use with sex toys

In my house, the general process for trying out new sex toys is that we’ll start off by using them together – so we both get to experience that ‘shiny new toy’ excitement – then one or other of us will put the toy through its paces on our own. If it’s a dildo or a vibrator, for instance, we’ll use it during a joint play session to start off with, then I’ll spend a little ‘alone time’ with it so I can try it out without feeling self-conscious or like I have to perform. When I’ve played with it alone, I’m in a much better position to instruct my partner on how to use it to best get me off.

Likewise with toys like Fleshlight, Tenga or other masturbation sleeves. I love using these on him, but I’m not always going to instinctively know how best to use each one. They all have different textures inside, and I know that the angle and length of stroke that he uses to masturbate will vary slightly depending on the internal texture.

In both of these cases, watching each other masturbate can give us a really good lesson in how to use these toys effectively!

3. The right moment to stop

A recent thread on Reddit invited men (and it was mostly straight, cisgender men) to talk about things they wish their partners knew about their bodies. Quite a few of them focused on the specific timing of stimulation during orgasm.

If you’ve got a penis, you’ll probably know already that for many people the start of the orgasm isn’t the point at which stimulation stops. Most people will keep going until the very end of the orgasm – stroking and squeezing until all of the twitching and ejaculating has stopped. For those of us who don’t have dicks, though, this fact isn’t always obvious. When I was younger, I almost certainly had a tendency to stop hand jobs or blow jobs a little too early, because the guy I was with had already let out his orgasmic moan of pleasure and I knew that the orgasm was happening.

As one reddit user explained:

“After he climaxes the head of the penis becomes super sensitive for about 30 seconds, the most intense pleasure comes from stimulating it during that time. If you stop right when he cums you’re fucking up the best part of the orgasm.”

And the same is (sort of) true for me. While direct clitoral stimulation will usually lead to a fairly powerful orgasm, followed by a short-but-intense period where I really don’t want my clit to be touched, making sure that the stimulation is maintained during orgasm is really important. There are few things in life more frustrating than an orgasm that fizzles out partway through leaving you moaning ‘oh no no pleeeeease’ at the person who’s wielding the vibe.

So if you’ve never masturbated in front of your partner before – or never watched them wank for you – it’s well worth talking to them about to see if they’re up for it. As well as being an intensely sexy experience, it is also a great way to learn even more about their body, and level up your hand job skills ready for the next time you’re playing together. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *