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Warning: this blog contains a man dressed as a giant penis

Some weeks I scour the internet for ages in search of weird sex news to bring you. Other weeks, like this one, the sexy internet Gods smile upon me and deliver a plethora of unusual stories and fun sex stuff. Here are the top three…


Teenagers invent a condom that detects STIs (or not)

Condoms are excellent, and have many purposes: they can help prevent pregnancy and STIs, they can enhance pleasure or delay orgasm, and they make an excellent tough substitute for your classic water balloon. But can they really act as an STI detector?

This week the press got an excitable hard-on for the idea that teenagers had invented an STI-detecting condom. You simply pop it on, have sex, and it’ll glow different colours depending on the strains of bacteria present. It sounds like a bit of a turn-off, if I’m honest, and I’d far rather just go for regular tests and make sure to use all the standard safer sex precautions.

Luckily for us all, though, it isn’t actually real: there’s a reason STI tests take time, and require the help of trained medical professionals. Top work to the teens who came up with the idea, and started a useful conversation about safer sex. Bottom of the class? The media which unquestioningly reported it, sending people into a tailspin that their partners would start performing their own bedroom STI tests.

Sweden invents a new word for wanking

This news got my Twitter timeline in more of a tizzy than the announcement about that fake stunt dog on Britain’s Got Talent. A sexual awareness organisation in Sweden decided that they needed a new word for ‘female masturbation.‘ Their aims were pretty decent – in Swedish their words for masturbation all assume that it’s done with a penis, and as those of us with different knicker-equipment know, you don’t have to have a boner to have a bash. Clitoral masturbation is, when all’s said and done, better than all the grilled cheese sandwiches in the world, and they wanted to come up with a new word for it to (hopefully) encourage people to talk more about female masturbation.

The word? Klittra – a cross between ‘clit’ and ‘glitter.’

I blogged about this myself earlier this week – I reckon the word’s a bit of a fail, given how clit-focused it is (ever heard of a g-spot orgasm?), as well as the implications behind glitter. But the aim is a good one: we do need to talk about female masturbation more, because it’s not just men who  enjoy a bit of alone time.

Giant, glittery penis on the loose in Norway

This one’s my favourite story because, well, there is just so much to say about a guy dressing up as a huge phallus and spraying glitter on people as part of a safer sex awareness campaign. Philip von Eck was hired by a sex ed charity in Norway to promote the use of condoms. The ‘awareness-raising’ essentially consisted of Philip, in a massive knob suit, surprising strangers by squirting glitter from his… umm… head.

Want to see him in action? Of course you do!

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtlJEvHmO0o]

According to reports,people over 30 were quite offended but “younger consumers finding it amusing.” They don’t mention how many people, like me, would have chosen the label ‘terrifying.’

The best part of this story, though, comes in this Newsweek article on Philip’s glittercock antics: apparently the 19-year-old applicant “beat several hundred other applicants to get the job.” I could have told them that – just look at the number of estate agents in London these days: being a professional knob is clearly a competitive industry.

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