Where do you store your sex toys? And would you be embarrassed if someone else stumbled on your stash?
I couldn’t help but giggle this morning when I read a story about a woman who ‘tidied’ her daughter’s dildo when she found it on her desk.
The young woman – a uni student – had just rushed out of the house on her way back to university, and realised with horror later that she’d left her sex toy in a fairly obvious place in her bedroom. She panicked, texted her brother to ask him to hide it, and when he went into her room to try and locate it he found it neatly lined up next to the pencil holder on the girl’s desk. Her mum clearly has a sense of humour.
I have a similar story from when I was young: a friend of mine was away for a while and her mum popped in to her bedroom to give it a thorough clean. On discovering her rabbit vibrator under her bed, this mum was entirely unphased. She texted my friend, told her she’d found her sex toy, but also said not to worry – she’d put it back where she found it, but not before giving it a good clean. Ouch.
Do you hide your sex toys away?
This story made me wonder, though, just how many people have had these slightly embarrassing incidents. I can fully understand not wanting your parents or close relatives to find your sex toys, but as a sex blogger I know that most of the people who come to my house won’t be alarmed or embarrassed to see sex toys lying about: I often have some in the bathroom drying after I’ve washed them, and my office is littered with boxes full of sex toys that I use as prizes or giveaways on my blog.
As I write this post now, I can see at least two bullet vibrators (still in their packets – they’re for comp prizes) and a cool prostate massager, and in my bedroom there’s a dildo and a clitoral vibe sitting prominently on my bedside table. There’s always a Doxy nearby if you rummage in the clothes by the side of my bed, and if I have a good Friday night tonight there’ll hopefully be some bondage equipment littering the floor of the lounge when I wake up hungover tomorrow.
But for most people, having sex toys lying around the house isn’t really feasible: whether you’ve got children, or the vicar regularly comes round for tea, or you just don’t want your friends knowing what you use to jerk off with, there are lots of reasons for people to hide their sex toys away.
How do you store your sex toys?
Many sex toys now come with their own storage – velvet boxes or pouches that you can keep the individual toys in, which stops them getting covered in lint while they’re not in use. It’s also a really useful way to keep the chargers together with the toys – pretty necessary in this day and age when toys all seem to come with different chargers. But there’s still the question of where to put them all…
The bedside drawer – this one’s the classic, and I suspect the most common place for people to stash the odd dildo or masturbation sheath and a bottle of decent lube. And it definitely works if you have a small collection – just a few key faves that you use regularly. But what if you have more toys than that?
Plastic storage boxes – these are great for storage, and the fact that you can buy ones which slide neatly under your bed means you can potentially start amassing a much bigger collection than you’d be able to in your bedside drawer.
Chest of drawers – this is actually what I use for what I’m going to call ‘overflow’: all the sex toys that don’t fit in my bedside drawer, on the floor, or proudly displayed on the bedside table. I actually have them separated by type: one drawer is ‘insertable’ toys (including butt plugs, dildos etc), one is ‘dick’ toys (masturbation sheaths like Tenga and Fleshlight), two drawers for BDSM equipment like spreader bars and cuffs, and one drawer for ‘miscellaneous’ – anything which doesn’t fit into the above categories but needs a home to live in.
Sex toy chest – this is a great alternative if you want to have all your toys in one place, and you’d like to be able to whisk them all away from prying eyes. You can buy some really nice old travel trunks and chests from ebay or Gumtree, which are both spacious and lockable. An especially good idea if you have curious children who like to rummage through your things!
Display cabinet – this is my dream. One day I will own a cool glass-fronted cabinet in which I can display my favourite sex toys. Colourful dildos, beautiful masturbation sheaths that are works of art in themselves, and all the other gorgeous things I own. Because although some people might be embarrassed if a friend finds their sex toy, others – like me – revel in the excuse to recommend my favourites and introduce people to things they might really like.
But like I say, I’m probably not representative of the average. How do you store your sex toys? And would you be embarrassed if someone stumbled on yours, or would you relish the opportunity to recommend the best ones?