​Nice guys finish first: research finds that selfless people have more sex

I’ve always been sceptical of that old
adage that ‘nice guys finish last.’ In my experience, everyone I’ve
shagged has been nice – at least at the point at which I shagged
them. Rude people are unlikely to get my juices flowing, and I assume
the same is true the other way round. I’ve never had a guy leap into
bed after hearing me saying something bitchy, but on the other hand
if I buy my boyfriend chocolate he usually seems better disposed to
getting in on with me later in the evening.

So it’s nice to find that some research
appears to support the idea that nice people – selfless people –
get more sex.

Research published
in the British Journal of Psychology
indicates a positive
correlation between selflessness and the amount of action you get.

“The researchers interviewed about
800 people regarding their relationships and propensity for helping
others, including giving to charity, donating blood, helping
strangers cross the street, donating winnings and helping classmates,
among other things. Even after controlling for age and personality, altruists were
found to have greater success at dating and sex.”

As with last week’s study about sex and memory, the researchers
want to look into more variables before drawing broad conclusions.
But to be honest, what harm could it possibly do to turn up your
altruism dial? Worst case scenario you’ve done a nice thing, best
case scenario you’ve done a nice thing and also had a bit more sex.

If you’re looking to increase your altruism level and translate
that into more sex, what better way than buying your partner
something they’ve been lusting after? Whether it’s some
sexy
lingerie
, a vibrator they’ve had their eye on, or some kinky bondage
equipment, a good deed is pretty much guaranteed to get the ball
rolling. And if a gift alone won’t quite cut it, here are a few ideas
for sexy good deeds…

Sensual massage

Now, I’m very rarely accused of being romantic. In fact, I’m
probably one of the least romantic people I know. But I can still
recognise that other people need a bit of romance every now and then,
so when I want to show off just how selfless I am, a massage is a
very quick win. Buy some nice candles if you’re feeling fancy, grab
some sensual massage oil, and if you want to really push the boat out
let your other half pick their album of choice for the sensual
massage playlist.

All about them

Not all great sex is about give and take. A healthy sex life
should, of course, take account of both your needs. But if you’re
feeling altruistic sometimes it’s fun to focus all the attention on
them. Get your partner to lie back and relax while you work on them
with their favourite
masturbator or vibrator. If they’re kinky, tie
their wrists and ankles
to the bed so there’s no pressure on them to
join in: this time, it’s you doing all the work.

The best gift of all

I’m going to sound like someone’s Mum here, but the greatest gift
of all for me is time. I am horniest and happiest when I don’t have a
giant to-do list hanging over me, and I suspect many other people
feel the same. If you really want to give your partner a treat, and
show how selfless you are outside the bedroom, relieving them of some
mundane life chores could be the best good deed you could do.
Vacuuming, washing up, laundry, taking the bins out, maybe helping
with their tax return: you know the drill. Then when you’ve finished
giving them a hand outside the bedroom, they might be more up for you
giving them a hand inside it…

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