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Macy Gray’s song about a vibrator (and other great sex songs)

It’s been a long time in coming, but finally the humble vibrator has the anthem it truly deserves. Don’t believe me? Check it out…


[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfmuUf-47M4]

See? Macy Gray is a genius. And it’s incredibly catchy. I have spent about 24 hours humming ‘B is for battery’ to myself. I also thoroughly enjoy that she has named hers ‘Bob.’ It had never occurred to give my favourite vibrator a name, but I think if I did I’d want something a bit heftier and less cute-sounding. As long as it didn’t share a name with an ex-boyfriend, I think it’d be quite friendly to call it something other than ‘the love of my life.’

Anyway, no one could ever possibly top the genius of this song, but seeing as it’s Friday, I thought I’d put together a nice sex-related playlist for you to listen to until it’s time to head to the pub.

4. Missy Elliot – Work It

Not only is the entire tune one of the sexiest things to shag to, it has some absolutely smoking-hot excellent lyrics in there too. Never listened properly? Shame on you. Press play below and listen out for this:

“Go downtown and eat it like a vulture”

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm28EEeyLek]

Best song for when: you want to warm up for a smoking hot Saturday night. Slip on something sexy and dance around the room – by the time your partner’s arrived you’ll be ready to leap on them like an angry, horny tiger.

3. Olivia Newton-John – Let’s Get Physical

I know this is cheesy and I don’t care. Just as I don’t care if you see me wearing one of those cheesy jumpers at Christmas: there’s a reason why we have cliches and it’s because sometimes cliches are fun.

Apart from anything else, who doesn’t want to see their other-half stripping down from yoga pants? Hmm?

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWz9VN40nCA]

Best song for when: you’ve bought a new bit of sex equipment, and you’re working it like the crosstrainer in the gym. Get physical!

2. Divinyls – I touch myself

Yes, teenage version of me, apparently this song was way dirtier than you thought. It took me a surprisingly long time to decode the fact that the lyrics in this song: “when I think about you I touch myself” are actually, literally, referring to wanking. And by God, they’re brilliant.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wv-34w8kGPM]

Best song for when: someone has left you and you’re all alone and you’re about to sink into a bit of a lonely pile before you remember that – wait! You have your God-given hands and with a bit of lube and a few minutes of alone time, everything will be right with the world again.

1. Undertones – Teenage Kicks

I couldn’t possibly resist. After all, it’s one of the sweatiest, horniest, most frustrated pop songs out there.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAtUw6lxcis]

Best song for when: you’re on your own and you just want to let go. Whether it’s a masturbation sheath, a vibrator, or your favourite butt-plug – go get yourself some teenage kicks.

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