Erotic book extracts that you were once banned from reading

This week the Bodleian library in Oxford announced that it was opening a special display of some of the books from their ‘restricted’ section. Usually restricted because of their sexy content, these books were categorised with the greek letter (phi), and hidden away from the casual browser. Any student wanting to read those books would need to apply (and have a letter of support from a tutor to make sure the sexy reading was relevant to their work) and be granted special permission to read the racier books.

Now, though, times are changing! The library is hosting an exhibition of many of these previously-restricted works. If you’re near Oxford, you can pop along any time between 15th November and 19th January and check out some of the smutty tomes that were considered too filthy for public consumption.

Banned books are more exciting than permitted ones

One of my career goals is to write a book that is either banned somewhere or denounced by the Daily Mail. After all, what better way to ensure people trip over themselves to get hold of something than by saying it’s too sexy for consumption? I’m a sucker for banned books, because the very act of reading something you’ve been told you’re not supposed to see adds a thrill to the sexiness of the story itself.

Perhaps this is because when I was young my Mum spotted me reading Gerald’s Game by Stephen King – a book which begins with a pretty full-on bondage scene. I was about thirteen at the time, and although I managed to sneak plenty of books with sex scenes past her, the handcuffs on the cover of this one were a bit of a giveaway. She read the first few pages, raised her eyebrows, then put it on a high shelf. Naturally that just made me more, not less, likely to read it – it’s just that now I had to fetch it down and read it when she was at the pub.

In case you want to tap into this ‘forbidden’ excitement too, I had a quick browse of my own bookshelves to find three books that had previously been banned somewhere. Here are extracts from each of them, and although I wouldn’t recommend all of them from a wanking perspective, at the end I’ve got three recommendations of sex toys that you can use either one-handed or no-handed: perfect for enjoying while you flick through your favourite erotic book!

Lady Chatterley’s Lover

Possibly one of the most famous banned books ever, because it was the subject of an important trial in the history of UK censorship. The jury were asked to decide if the book was ‘obscene’ – specifically whether it had been written with the intention to ‘deprave and corrupt.’ Here’s an extract – I’ll let you decide!

She lay quite still, in a sort of sleep, in a sort of dream. Then she quivered as she felt his hand groping softly, yet with queer thwarted clumsiness, among her clothing. Yet the hand knew, too, how to unclothe her where it wanted. He drew down the thin silk sheath, slowly, carefully, right down and over her feet. Then with a quiver of exquisite pleasure he touched the warm soft body, and touched her navel for a moment in a kiss. And he had to come in to her at once, to enter the peace on earth of her soft, quiescent body. It was the moment of pure peace for him, the entry into the body of the woman.

120 Days of Sodom

This book is essentially 800-odd pages of sado-masochism, with mostly non-consenting subjects, many of whom end up dead. I guess this is the hazard of being attracted to banned books: sometimes you read one that you really wish you hadn’t. Here’s an extract of one of the milder scenes, in which the men who have set up this orgy make a bet on whether they can make one of their female subjects ejaculate…

The Duc said he was perfectly sure Sophie was the sort of girl who could discharge; the experiment, in his view, absolutely had to be made. He asked Durcet to keep a close eye on her and, laying her upon a divan, he simultaneously polluted the edges of her vagina, her clitoris and her asshole, at first with his fingers, next with his tongue; and Nature triumphed: after fifteen minutes of this, the lovely girl became uneasy, troubled, she flushed crimson, she sighed, she panted, Durcet drew Curval’s and the Bishop’s attention to all these manifestations, for ’twas they who doubted her discharging capacities; the Duc suggested that, since he had always been confident of them, it was for the others to convince themselves, and so they all fell to imbibing that young fuck, and the little rascal’s cunt left all their lips moist.

Flowers in the Attic

I was surprised to find that this book had been banned in some places, because it was a staple favourite of mine when I was younger. A brother and sister – Cathy and Chris – along with their younger siblings, are locked away in an attic to hide while their mother tries to persuade her father (who doesn’t know about the children) to write her back into his will.

Why was it banned? Well, because over the time that they’re locked in the attic, Cathy and Chris end up getting a little too close, if you know what I mean. Although it was marketed as adult fiction, it mostly appealed to teenage girls like me so as a result it was banned in schools. Thing is, not only is it quite sexy, it’s also quite romantic at times. I can’t be the only woman who fell a bit in love with poor, doomed Cathy and Chris…

In his arms I was held close while my cheek was pressed against his heart. And though he would put me from him quicky, I clung tighter. ‘Chris – what we did just now – was it sinful?’

Again, he cleared his throat. ‘If you think it so, then it was.’

What kind of an answer was that? If thoughts of sin stayed out of it, those moments lying on the floor when he touched me so tenderly with magical tingling fingers and lips were the sweetest moments since we’d come to live in this abominable house. I looked up to see what he was thinking and saw that strange look in his eyes. Paradoxically he seemed happier, sadder, older, younger, wiser… or was it he was feeling a man now? And if he was, then I was glad, sinful or not.

Sex toys to use while you read an erotic book

Naturally, as an erotic book-loving wanker, I think it’s important for one to be able to ‘enjoy’ a book while also having a wank. So here are a few sex toys that I think are excellent to use while reading erotic books, because they’re easy to use either one-handed or no-handed – making it easier to turn the pages.

Fifty Shades rechargeable remote control love egg – this one’s perfect because you just pop it in and then use the remote to control speeds and patterns. Or if you’ve got a willing assistant, simply hand them the remote control and settle in to read your erotic book, letting them tease you into a frenzy as you thumb through to get to the sexy bits.

The cone – an unusual toy, this one, but perfect for hands-free masturbation because you can simply sit on top of it, and grind against it as it vibrates. One hand free for the book, the other hand free to hold a gin and tonic: perfect way to spend a sexy Sunday afternoon!

The Rev 1000 – I don’t want to leave out any penis owners who might be reading! The Rev 1000 is a masturbator that has a textured sleeve and a simple handle at one end. When you turn it on, it rotates the sleeve giving you a satisfying dick massage, while leaving your other hand free to hold your erotic book.

The great news is that if you want to enjoy any of these toys, at the time of writing you can get 25% off them with the code SAVE25. Which leaves you with a little money left over to buy an erotic book that you can read while you’re testing them out!

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