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Are sex dolls better than one-night stands?

People are rarely ambivalent about sex dolls: they elicit a fascination that I haven’t seen for any other sex toy. So what’s the draw?


I don’t know about you, but I’ve rarely ever seen my sex toys as a substitute for a partner. If anything, sex toys are a fun addition to any kind of sex – whether that’s with a partner or a quick solo shag with me, myself and I. But naturally the kind of dildos and vibes that I use on my own pale into insignificance when you compare them to some of the best sex dolls on the market.

I guess the difference between a sex doll and any other toy is that a sex doll, more than anything else, is designed to give you something to hold as well as something to get your rocks off with. Amazing though my Doxy vibrator is, it’s not something you can cuddle while you shag it.

This week I read an article about men who spend a whopping one-month’s salary on sex dolls. Their aim, they say, is to have that companionship and closeness that they’d have with their wives, without the danger or betrayal of a one-night stand. Liu, a 29-year-old who worked away from home, in the city, explained that:

“Honestly, it is very easy to just pay a little money to find a woman in China, but I simply cannot bring myself to cheat on my wife, so I have never considered it.”

Which is an interesting proposition, because it’s something I’d genuinely never considered. To get to this point, presumably, you have to see sex with something more than your hand as an inevitability if you’ll be away from home for a long time. And naturally you also have to see a sex doll as something far more significant than the simpler (and more easily transportable) Fleshlight or Tenga toy.

The guys in the article mention sex workers as another possibility for companionship when they’re away from home. Liu himself says that it would not cost much to visit a sex worker, but he would feel like that was cheating in a way that buying a sex doll would not.

Is there a heirarchy of cheating, depending on what you do? This is something I’ve thought about a lot before, particularly when exploring the futuristic possibilities of robot sex: when companies can create human-looking robots which speak to you in the same way a lover would, do these ‘count’ as cheating if you shag one when you’re married? Is there a scale which goes from sex doll through robot and then ends up at human being?

I’m interested in your thoughts on this, because I feel I may have been skewed by the fact that so much of my time is spent thinking about sex toys. Personally, if my other half shagged a sex doll while I was out of town, my reaction would be a combination of fascination and arousal. I’d want him to talk me through it in detail so I could picture it. If he was feeling confidently exhibitionist, I’d be quite keen to watch him shag her again, so I could fully fix the details in my mind. If he slept with someone else, I’d have the kind of jealous feelings you’d expect on any soap opera, and the chances of me wanting to watch a repeat performance are slim to none.

I think the difference here is that I see sex dolls as performing a very different function to humans. A human interaction is, sure, sometimes about need. You get really horny, you want to have sex, you meet someone and you shag. But on top of that there’s also the issue of whether or not you fancy them. Whether you get along. Whether there’s a certain kind of chemistry. With a sex doll, I can’t picture that chemistry in the same way, and because there’s no vocal interaction, I can’t imagine anyone deciding that they fancy this doll but not that one. With sex dolls, in short, it feels like something that’s purely about need: a primal urge to shag, without the need to be fussy about where that shag is coming from.

That might just be me though. I know, having worked with SexToys.co.uk for quite some time, that there are lots of sex doll fans on the site, who read this blog and buy the latest models. So I thought I’d pose a question to you: how do you feel the experience compares to sex with a person? Are there some sex dolls that you fancy, but others that you don’t? (I understand that sometimes this might be down to gender i.e. you may not fancy a male sex doll but you will fancy a female sex doll, but I mean other characteristics too).

Please do leave a comment if you’re happy to talk about it, or if you’d rather be anonymous you can drop me an email at hellogirlonthenet at gmail dot com. There’ll be no shaming here: I am an enthusiastic connoisseur of sex, and all the fascinating different kinks and quirks that people have. I’d like to write a blog post on the ways that people view sex dolls, and hopefully show people just why they are such a popular addition to many people’s bedrooms.

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