Is it big enough?

One of the most widespread sexual worries facing men is whether their todger is “big enough”. It’s a worry made worse by the size of the fellas in the porn industry – pretty much the only visual comparison most men will ever see (let’s face it, unless you’re gay or live a swingers lifestyle you’re unlikely to be in the same room as another guy with an erection).

So let’s address a few points about size.


The length of penises in the human male population varies wildly, but as with all things there are averages (believe it or not there are regular, but infrequent, studies into penis size). It helps to understand the rules by which the measurements are taken before assessing yourself against these averages though. Generally speaking the measurement is taken along the top of your chap, starting against the abdominal muscles and all the way to the tip of the glans. This has an obvious issue straight away – if you’re not a well toned adonis like the guys in the porn movies then you’re going to have a bit (or a lot) of a belly. This overhang has the drawback of making your pride and joy seem shorter than it really is, so the best thing you can do to make sure you’re being all you can be is to lose that gut.

In the UK the last major survey of man’s best friend was in 1996 (but don’t worry, humans don’t evolve that fast so it’s still pretty accurate). It was found back then that the average erect male member was a whopping 5 and a half inches long! Yep, just under 14 centimetres. Feel better already? Compare that to our cousins in the US whose last survey was in ’98 – they have an average of 5.1 inches (12.9 centimetres). Kind of explains all those big cars, doesn’t it?

What about the legend of our African brothers? It turns out that they are, in fact a bit bigger than the UK average, but not by much. Roughly speaking they’re half an inch to an inch longer, but they’re definitely not the super-humans that popular myth would have us believe. That said, that’s an average – your typical North African is about the same as your Europeans. Which leads us to an area of contention – those countries fabled in Europe to make the best lovers also claim to have the biggest willies. France and Italy claim to have 6 to 6 and a half inch cocks, but the surveys done there were “self assessed”; they wouldn’t exaggerate about something like this, would they?

If you travel east, through Russia, India and the Orient, phallus sizes are much smaller – Indians average about 4 inches (10.2cm) and the Chinese 4.3 inches (10.9cm). But they’re the people who gave us the Karma Sutra, tantric sex and a range of other hot love making techniques. So length isn’t everything, is it?

Girth and circumference

This is anecdotal, but every woman I know who I’ve asked as agreed with this; it’s not the length that matters, it’s the girth. Studies show that the average circumference for the male member is 4.8 inches, or 12.3cm in new money (that’s measured at a point mid-way along the shaft). We all know that they’re not a uniform shape from tip to stem and, again from anecdotal evidence, guys who’re thicker toward the base and have less of a belly, give their ladies more pleasure by being able to get more contact against their gal’s clitoris. Also there’s a common opinion amongst the ladies that thicker chaps are likely to stimulate their G-spot (and, yes, it does exist!), as are less lengthy guys as they’re better built to “hit the spot”. That’s not to say that less sturdy fellas don’t do the trick, but it does go to show that it takes all sorts.

It’s all too much!

Having a big knob is sometimes actually a drawback. Women are generally speaking more petite than their men-folk and having a guy with a dick that’s too long can be a problem. Ladies can be bruised internally by guys who are trying to go full length when she’s simply not built for it and it can be a fair few days before she’s ready for sex again. Let’s face it fellas, we don’t want to do anything that hurts our ladies, do we (well, not unless she’s been naughty and needs a good spanking, eh) or, and probably more importantly for us, go without our oats unnecessarily.

There’s also an increasing number of ladies experimenting with anal sex and, let’s face it, the bum is not designed for putting things in. Many women don’t like something huge shoved up there so a more averaged sized, or smaller, penis means she’s more likely to enjoy the sensations. That’s not to say that there’s aren’t ladies who like a bigger chap up there but, in my experience, they’ve worked their way up to it using progressively larger toys or lovers.

Any room for a little one?

There is a condition called micropenis that means a guy really does have a very small member (2.7 inches or 7cm). Whilst there are an increasing number of medical treatments and operations to help increase the penis size of these guys there are also sheaths and penis extender toys to top up on what natures given them.

That said, women tend to be a lot less worried than we are about the size of our appendages and tends to be with us for more than just what’s in our pants (I know that because I keep my wallet in my jacket pocket …). For our better halves sex is part of a relationship and is a much more emotional event than it is for us. Plus if you’re good at foreplay and other kinds of intimacy then getting you inside can mean more than the one thing.

Please, Sir, I want some more …

There are all sorts of claims for pills and potions helping grow penis size, but studies have shown no measurable effect after following the “treatments”. They make all sorts of claims for their “active ingredients” but quite often their more likely to be diet supplements than anything else, or at the worst be full of chemicals you should just not put into your body.

Some medications claiming to be based on ancient and proven remedies, especially those involving the testicles and penises of other animals, are nothing more than bunk.

Those claiming to boost your testosterone (which we all recognise as the hormone that makes men … well, men) are highly unlikely to do so and even if they do extra testosterone in an adult male is more likely to make you hairy than anything else.

There’s some anecdotal evidence, however, for an Middle Eastern technique known as “jelqing” – a form of massage and stretching whose aim is to literally pull some extra length into your manhood by increasing blood flow and your old fella’s ability to cope with it by developing more space in the corpus cavernosum (the bit of your dick where all the blood goes to make you stiff). That said it’s a technique designed to be practiced by adolescent boys and continued throughout their adult life in order to maintain what they’ve got. As a result, though, there have been a range of pieces of equipment designed to try to give the same effect, everything from the more radical stretching kits like the Andropenis to various penis pumps.

The Andropenis system has some medical studies that seem to suggest it may work but there’s been no large scale studies (and at over £150 for the full “Gold” kit I think I know why), but there have been a few studies of how effective pumps are. The good news is they seem to work! The bad news is the effects seem to be temporary. Basically they help get better blood-flow into your manhood, but because the nature of the tissues are not being permanently changed the blood eventually passes back out into your body. If you over-use the pump you’re likely to do yourself a mischief, just as you might using “weight systems”, and worse than having a cock you’re worried is too small you’ll end up having one that doesn’t work at all!

In extreme cases there are surgical procedures that claim to help grow your size. One involves cutting the tendons that actually stop your erection from flopping to your knees under it’s own weight, another involves putting what’s basically a balloon inside your wang for you to pump up to get extra size (this one is normally a treatment for erectile dysfunction). The treatments cost thousands of pounds, come with no guarantees and are quite often irreversible.

The End is Nigh

So there we go – we come in all shapes and sizes (literally). There’s no real “normal” for the size of a mans manhood, but there are averages and you’re probably already at least that. And if not it really doesn’t matter as long as we’re making our partners happy with it.

Oh, one last word on those porn stars – they’re freaks of nature; their cock size is just not normal. Also a lot of female porn stars are petite, adding to the illusion of these fellas’ prowess. That said there’s a growing (no pun intended) number of prosthesis (yep, fake dicks) on the circuit that might look impressive but are more likely to win a prize for special effects than achieve a Guinness World Record.

All-in-all, fellas, you should be proud of what you’ve got – let’s face it, if your missus is happy with it then you should be too, and if she’s not there are things you can do to improve the situation, or at least distract her (so to speak) so she just doesn’t mind.

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