​How To Do Valentine’s Day Without Breaking The Bank


The problem with Valentine’s Day is
that it always falls halfway through the month, which means that if
you’re looking for last-minute gifts, payday seems a long way away.
There are two ways to deal with this problem: first, be organised.
Second, find bargains. I’m here to help you do both.

Valentine’s Day organisation

If you want to pick up something sexy
for your partner, now is the time to buy it: we’re long past that
period where people can moan about the early onset of Valentine’s
Day, and well into the ‘definitely time to buy stuff so you have time
to wrap it up’ stage. Check out the Valentine’s Offers page, put your
order in today, and it will be with you well in time for the day
itself – saving a last-minute scramble for flowers at the petrol
station or a battered box of Roses in the bargain bin at Tesco.

Valentine’s Day money saving

They say the best things in life are
free, but that won’t assuage your guilt if your partner buys you
something ridiculously expensive and you just give them a post-it
note that says ‘I love you babes.’ I could round up some of our
coolest and most expensive toys here, but instead I’m going to focus
on what I do best: picking some of the best bargains. All the sex
toys below cost less than a tenner, but they’re sexy enough that
anyone not in the know would think they cost far more.

Poker Spade Edition

I’m a fan of pretty much every
masturbator I’ve ever used on a guy, so to be honest I would happily
buy any of them just so I get to watch his reaction to a brand new
texture. But I love these Lingox ones because they look like poker
chips, opening up the possibility of playing fun gambling games:

“I bet you a tenner I can get you to
come in under five minutes.”

More importantly, they’re currently
discounted to less than £10, so you could even pick up two different
types (clubs, pictured below, and
– allowing you to test your other half’s orgasmic reaction to
different textures – without breaking the bank.


to Please nipple clamp bells

Nipple clamps are often seen as a
super-kinky item, but I’ve played with a fair few otherwise vanilla
guys who still love having their sensitive nipples touched, kissed,
bitten and even clamped.

This Bound to Please set comes complete
with bells, which again is a neat twist that gets my imagination
going: telling submissive guys to stay dead still while I use a
masturbator on them, then punishing them if the bells ring? That is
definitely going on my bucket list.


Joy Triple Ripple Anal Beads

One of the hardest things to find when
you’re sex toy shopping on a budget is quality silicone. Silicone is
a fairly expensive material, so usually if you want to buy a silicone
rabbit, dildo, butt plug or anything else, you’ll have to hand over a
bit more cash. So if you’re a bargain-hunter like I am, then when
someone offers you anal beads for less than a tenner you should bite
their hand off. In a good way.


Special Valentine’s Day gifts

If you want a bargain but you’re
willing to pay a bit more for something special, then how about some
restraints with a bit of added bling? These
Nubuck wrist restraints
are made from high quality leather –
durable and soft, they’re a cut above your standard handcuffs, which
means (if you’re anything like me) you’ll get a much longer time to


(I should probably note that no matter
how brilliant your handcuffs you still need to be careful when using
restraints during play. Keep checking in with your willing victim,
and if they feel tingles in their hands or feet you need to undo the
restraints and help them get the circulation going again. And be
careful not to secure them too tightly. This message brought to you
by the Sex Toy Health And Safety Department)

Last (but by no means least) is the
most romantic thing that Sex Toys sell. Well, in my opinion. They
have a great selection of massage oils and candles, which are
apparently what most people think of as ‘romantic.’ Me, though? I
can’t think of anything that says ‘I love you’ more clearly than
this: a
butt-plug with a heart-shaped crystal in the base


Maybe that’s just me, though. We all
have different definitions of romance – so
find the present that best fits yours

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