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Your sexual energy is yours first and foremost!

Many people believe that their sexual pleasure is dependant on having someone else to stimulate them and play with. This couldn’t be further from the truth! Your sexuality, sexual energy, sexual self is yours and yours alone. What you choose to do with that sexual energy, how you wish to express it is totally up to you. Whether you have a partner or not, it is really important to own and get to know yourself first. It can be very disempowering to feel you have to wait for someone else before you get to enjoy your sexuality. So if you’re single and think you need a partner or if you’re in a relationship but think that you can only be sexual when your partner is in the mood, think again!


There are lots of ways to enjoy and celebrate yourself as a sexual being without the need for someone else. In fact, the better you know your sexual self, your desires, needs and what you like, the more likely you are to have fabulous sexual experiences with another.

Take some time to connect to your own sexual energy. You could put on some music and dance around to get stirred up, use a gentle vibrator all over your body or you could do it in a more meditative way. Try sitting or lying still and just gently wake up your sexual energy. You might take your awareness, your attention into your genitals or do a few pc squeezes to wake it up. You could also stroke your body all over with your hand or a finger vibe as you’d like a lover to. When you can feel that familiar awakening in your genitals, just let it be there for a while without the need to do anything with it. Let yourself enjoy the arousal, the tingling, the feeling of being alive! So often we feel the fire and then want to put it out immediately. Just for a change, see if you can relax into the desire, the heat and just let it be there.

Imagine that you have a magical dial that can turn your sexual energy up or down. You might visualize it or just get the sense of one. Use your imagination to turn your sexual energy to different levels. How does your energy feel at 3 or 5 or 10? What feels comfortable to you? See if you can send the energy to different parts of your body. Once again, using your imagination, send the energy down your legs, into your arms and hands or into your spine. It’s really quite amazing how simple it is to juice up your whole body with sexual energy. If it feels like it’s getting too much, too high, just slow down, rest and let the energy settle. You can raise it again later if you wish.

Once you get the hang of dialing your energy up and down you can start to explore ways of expressing this energy. What you choose to do with it is totally up to you. You might wish to get dressed up and go out. Let your sexual energy be your rocket fuel for a fun night out. You might want to stay in and play with some favourite toys. Our sexual energy is powerful fuel, so you could use it to get the housework done, take a walk, do some exercise or anything else that requires energy. Sexual energy replenishes itself so it’s like a battery that never runs out. It doesn’t have to be used just for sex! Take some time to get to know yours and you’ll be amazed at what’s possible.

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