One of the things that most affects our sex lives is how we feel about ourselves. When we feel confident, worthy and loveable it is easier for us to be open, make connections and share our sexual selves with others. When we feel we are not enough, not attractive enough or thin enough or rich enough, we tend to keep parts of ourselves hidden and this is a big barrier to intimacy.
Now I am not one to believe in or to promote advertising from big companies. However, a popular beauty product brand has recently done a fascinating experiment that, well, really touched me. Perhaps you’ve seen the three-minute video, but for those who haven’t, here’s a quick synopsis: They hired a retired forensic artist to draw women as they described themselves to him. He couldn’t see them and they couldn’t see him. He also did a drawing of each participant based on how another person described her. The two drawings were placed next to each other and the women were invited to view them. Without fail, the drawings from the descriptions given by the participant were less attractive and less accurate than the drawing from the description by a stranger. Watching the women view the portraits side by side was incredible and brings a tear to my eye with each viewing. They could see that the other drawing was more accurate. They could see how someone else saw them. They could see that they are much more beautiful than they realized.
Now I’m not saying this ad is perfect. There were a few things in it that I could criticize if I really wanted to. But the basic premise of it is so good, it delivers its message so well, that I’m not going to pick at the rest of it.
Other beauty products (and in fact, most products) are sold by telling us we’re not attractive enough unless we use their product. We’re constantly told our teeth aren’t white enough, our homes aren’t clean enough, our bodies aren’t sexy enough and on and on and on that we’re just not enough unless we use all the products that will change our poor pathetic, not-good-enough selves into something other than what we are. Not only does that play on everyone’s intrinsic belief that they aren’t enough, but it hammers it in to place.
The good news is that we don’t have to believe in advertising. In fact, we don’t have to believe anything other than what feels true to us. I don’t pay much attention to most ads, but this one caught my eye. It is unique in that it doesn’t play on or create insecurities – quite the opposite. This ad tells you that you’re beautiful just as you are, and that is advertising I can get on board with.
Realising that you are perfect just as you are, that there is no standard you have to live up to, releases the stresses and strains of not being enough and allows you to create the life, including the sex life, that you dream of.
You are perfect just as you are!