Recently I was talking with some of my male friends about sex toys. They all agreed that not only was it ok for a woman to use sex toys but that it was downright sexy. Most, but not all of them said they had used sex toys with their girlfriends. Some had tried a bit of bondage , most of them had used dildos or vibrators on their girlfriend and a couple had used anal toys on them. However, not one of them had tried a male sex toy! A couple of them weren’t even aware that there was such a thing. In fact most of them had some sort of averse reaction to the thought of a male masturbator which really shocked me.
When I asked them why they thought it was ok for a woman to use a dildo but not for a man to use a male masturbator, they were slightly puzzled. “Yeah, why is it ok for women but not men?”, they pondered. After thinking about it for a moment, one of them said that men are supposed to be able to get a woman, otherwise in society’s eyes, he’s not a real man or he’s somehow failed. One of my friends said he just assumed that sex toys were only for women or gay men but that’s because he only really knew about dildos or vibrators and not about male masturbators. He said amongst his heterosexual male friends, using a dildo or butt plug just had too much stigma attached to it because it might mean you were gay. One of them suggested that if any of his friends knew he had a male masturbator they would think he was weird or sexually incompetent. Men somehow are supposed to only enjoy their sexuality by sharing it with a woman. All other expressions are thought to be for men who can’t get women.
I don’t know where these ideas originated but they seem to be deeply imbedded in the male psyche. Over the last 50 or so years, women have been reclaiming their sexuality and their rights to be sexual beings. Men love a sexually open or adventurous woman, so apart from some of the more religious corners, society as a whole encouraged women to find, explore and express their sexuality. Sex toys for women started selling like crazy and continue to do so. Women are now free to explore not just toys for their vagina, but toys for their nipples, breasts and bums.
Men, however, are just beginning their sexual revolution. The definition of being a ‘real man’ is slowly changing. In the past men have interpreted being a ‘real man’ to mean that they have to have muscles, earn a certain amount of money, drive a flashy car and be able to pull the chicks for sex. It’s quite a well known double standard that men who sleep around are thought to be studs while women who sleep around are thought to be sluts. So while women are at home pleasuring themselves with their sex toys, who are the men supposed to be sleeping with to get their stud status?
Things are starting to turn around now. Men are waking up to the idea that being a ‘real man’ is a ridiculous ideal made up by an old fashioned society and that they have just as much a right to their sexual expression and pleasure as women. One of the ways men can empower themselves and claim ownership of their sexuality is to invest in and try out sex toys that are made just for them. Whether they go for a male maturbator, a butt plug or some nipple clamps, its time for men to explore new ways of getting their kicks. Just like the Rabbit for women, some sex toys for men can give pleasure in a way that a women can’t. Using sex toys are a fantastic, sexy way to expand your capacity for pleasure. Besides, your woman might actually get off on watching you masturbate with a male sex toy or butt plug!
Come on men! Step up out of the suppressive past and into the new liberated present. Get your sex toy fun on and watch your sex life soar!