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Threesomes – gruesome or awesome?

Though a threesome might be a top fantasy, the reality may not be quite as sexy, unless you manage it well.


A threesome should never be taken lightly. The emotional and sexual dynamics of your relationship could change dramatically once the act has finished so you need to go into it with your eyes open.

Unless both you and your partner are completely up for a threesome, I strongly recommend that you don’t proceed. The key to a successful threesome is to talk about how you both see it working and how you might feel. This way you can prepare and stop any potential ramifications or irreversible damage. I know all this planning and talking doesn’t sound particularly sexy but believe me when I say, you will be glad you did it. No sexual act is worth risking your relationship for.

There really is, so many things to think about when having a threesome. How do you choose a 3rd participant? How will your partner feel seeing you with someone else, how will you feel seeing your partner with someone else, safe sex, jealousy, boundaries etc – it’s a mine field.

When inviting someone new into your sexual relationship choose wisely. Never have a threesome with a friend. Although this may seem like an obvious path to take because of familiarity and a mutual love and respect that’s already present – there’s no quicker way to ruin a friendship. It’s much better for you and your partner to be able to walk away from the other person so you can separate everyday life with your partner and not be faced with the third on a regular basis.

Once you’ve chosen your third, whether it be a boy or girl, set your rules. It may be that you don’t want your partner to participate in penetrative sex with the other person Maybe you don’t like the idea of them kissing on the lips or giving or receiving oral. Whatever you think may ruin the experience and make you feel uncomfortable, rule out. It’s better to be safe than sorry and you can always change the rules for next time.

If you’ve been with the same partner for a long time you may feel like a child with a new toy. They key is not to toss your old one to the side. Always give your partner the most attention. Make them feel that they are the most important person in the room and revolve the experience around them. Ideally you want to spice things up in your relationship and make it a pleasurable experience for all in involved. Don’t use it as an excuse to get your rocks off with someone else as your fantasy might end up a nightmare.

Respect each other’s boundaries and keep communicating after the act and then you will have the best chance of a successful threesome.

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