This week brings us to the letter Q. When I started doing the A-Z of Sex, I had no idea what Q would bring, but it turns out to be quite a sexy letter!
Quickie – Ah, the quickie. Not everyone’s cup of tea and definitely only to be used sparingly! A quickie is quick sex, usually with no foreplay or cuddling afterwards. Can be lots of fun when you’re both up for it.
Queer – It would be impossible to fully explain ‘queer’ in just a few sentences. It has a long history and has only recently been reclaimed as a positive word. Although many people believe that it is an umbrella term for LGBT folks, that’s not quite accurate. Many LGBT folk may consider themselves queer, but some do not. Very generally it refers to people who identify outside of the gender and sexual preference ‘norm’.
Questions – Questions are an essential part of good, safe sex. Whether you’ve just met someone or have been in a relationship with them for 25 years, questions will help your relationship to grow and develop. If your relationship is new you want to ask questions about your partner’s sexual health and preferences. What are their boundaries? What is ok and absolutely not ok for them sexually? Even if you’re in a long-term relationship, questions help you to understand what’s going on for your partner right now. What are they in the mood for? How would they like to be touched today?
Quick and quiet – One of my tantra teachers always used to say that most people learn to have sex by the ‘quick and quiet’ method. We learn to be quick because we might get caught, and we learn to be quiet because we might get caught. Hopefully we all learn to take our time and make some noise when we get older and have our own space!
Quim – Slang for vulva
Queening – The sexual practice of a woman sitting on a man’s face, usually where the man is submissive. A queening chair or stool may be used so that the woman is sitting comfortably while the man lies underneath her.
Quality – Let’s face it, we all want good quality sex. For some that might mean mind-blowing orgasms, for others it might mean always being tied up and spanked and for others it might mean having your desires heard and understood. Whatever it means for you, I hope you have plenty of it in your life.