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The A-Z of Sex, ‘E’

Here we are at week 5 of my A-Z of Sex, which brings us to the letter E…


Ejaculation – Ejaculation is the expulsion or discharge of fluid from the body. The fluid that men ejaculate contains semen, as well as important enzymes, fructose and lipids. Ejaculation often occurs at the same time as orgasm, although unknown to many, ejaculation and orgasm are two different events. It is possible for a man to learn to orgasm without ejaculation. This offers him the opportunity to enjoy pleasure for longer and to choose when he would like to ejaculate. Female ejaculation will be covered when we get to ‘F’.

Erection – In sexual terms, an erection refers to a penis when it is engorged with blood making it firmer, harder and larger. An erection often occurs when a man is sexually aroused, although it can sometimes happen even when he’s not. Erections can even happen when a man is sleeping.

Erectile dysfunction – Generally erectile dysfunction refers to problems with getting and/or maintaining an erection. It’s quite common and many men will go through phases of erectile dysfunction at some point in their life. Lots of factors contribute to erectile dysfunction such as stress, poor diet, societal conditioning, low self-esteem and sometimes medical issues. Apart from offering dangerous drugs, the medical establishment doesn’t yet have a good, effective way of dealing with erectile dysfunction. If you are struggling with this, I would strongly recommend you see a conscious sex/tantra practitioner.

Edge play – Traditionally ‘edgeplay’ referred to any sexual play that was dangerous or scary in a practical or physical sense. Things like breath play, knives, needles or fire came under the banner of ‘edgeplay’.  This was later expanded to include more natural risks such as barebacking (not using a condom). More recently the term ‘edgeplay’ has come to include anything that pushes your own personal edges. This applies to both the giver and receiver. Perhaps being the ‘top’ feels fine to you but being the ‘bottom’ feels scary or dangerous. Maybe you feel completely safe with knife play but not with being emotionally vulnerable? Whatever takes you to your own edges can be considered ‘edgeplay’. Do you know what your edges are? Would you like to explore them?

Erotica – Very generally erotica refers to creative things that are erotically arousing or sexual in nature. This includes photos, stories, poetry, music, sculpture, painting and even some burlesque. There is an ongoing debate about what makes something erotica and what makes it porn. Historically, it’s been claimed that erotica is more sensual in nature and more of an art form than pornography. Personally I feel it is in the eye of the beholder. What one person considers porn another might consider erotica and vice versa.

Erogenous zones – These are parts of the body that are particularly sensitive to erotic stimulation. Typically, places like the back of the neck or inside of the thighs are said to be erogenous zones. In reality, any part of your body can be an erogenous zone. In fact, it’s not just your body that has erogenous zones. Your mind, your breath, movements, etc can all be erogenous zones. It really depends on what stimulates you, what gets you going. Do you know where your erogenous zones are? Why not have some fun discovering new ones?

Etiquette – Etiquette refers to a set of rules or guidelines around behaviour, a sort of unwritten code of conduct. Sexually speaking, there is general etiquette and etiquette that is for a particular situation. For example, it is always a good idea to ask before you touch someone you don’t know. It is good etiquette to not talk about your ex on a first date with someone else. In BDSM terms, it is always good etiquette to not interrupt others in the middle of a scene or for a top to leave a bottom before they’ve come round and got their head on straight again.

Exhibitionism – Originally exhibitionism referred to the act of displaying parts of the body that are normally covered up in pubic. Generally the genitals and bum for anyone and breasts on a woman. Nowadays exhibitionism might also refer to people being sexual in front of others. The exhibitionist might just like the freedom and thrill of being seen and/or might get a sexual thrill from it as well.

Enema – An enema is the act or procedure of injecting fluids into the rectum and colon via the anus. Although usually done for medical reasons, some people are sexually aroused by enemas and so include it as part of their sexual repertoire.

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