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The A-Z of Sex, ‘D’

This week brings us to the letter D. There are lots of sexy ‘D’ words, so here you go…


Desire – I could write a whole book about desire, but since this is more of a list, I’ll make it brief. Desire is a fundamental human urge, a longing. It arises naturally within in us and often moves us to take action. Sexual desire is also a basic fundamental urge. We long to connect, to be sensual, to touch and be touched. We long to be seen, truly and deeply seen. We long to be met on many different levels. Sexually we also long to penetrate or be penetrated, sometimes both! Often we race to quench these sorts of desires, and as much as that might feel great, it is also the end of desire. Tantra, and other forms of conscious sexuality, teach the practice of ‘riding the waves of desire’. This offers you the opportunity to relax and enjoy desire, in and of itself, without rushing to extinguish it. There is much to be learned and experienced by allowing yourself to float in a state of ecstatic desire without the need to do something about it.

Domination – One of the ‘D’ words in BDSM, domination refers to the exchange of power in sexual play. The dominant person is the one holding or borrowing the power. Domination can be explored through many wide and varied avenues. It may or may not involve touch, pain, psychological factors, tools/toys, and much more.

Domme/Dom – These terms generally refer to a female dominant or male dominant respectively.

Dominatrix – Generally the same as a Domme, although this term often refers to someone who is ‘dominant’ in a professional role.

Discipline – The other ‘D’ word in BDSM refers to discipline. Discipline is generally the act of controlling another person’s behavior.  This could involve a strict set of rules and not following these rules may result in various types of punishment.

Dildo/Dong – A dildo, sometimes called a dong, is a penis-shaped  object that is used for penetration and pleasure. Dildos come in lots of different sizes and styles and have different purposes too. Some are made specially to reach a woman’s g-spot, some are made specifically for anal play and some are more suited to male pleasure. Typically a dildo doesn’t vibrate like its cousin the vibrator. You can get double-ended dildos, dildos with life like balls, dildos that you strap on and even dildos for the bath!

Dick – Slang word for penis.

Dogging – Slangword for public displays of sex  (usually in a car) where watching is actively encouraged. Places like public parks and lay-bys tend to be favorite spots for dogging. Apparently this originated in the UK and has since spread around the world. Doggers may know the person they are sexually engaging with or choose random strangers from the audience.

Doggy style – Not to be confused with Dogging, doggy style is a slang term that refers to a particular sexual position. For this position, the receiving person is generally on their hands and knees and the active person is standing or kneeling and penetrating them from (and sometimes in!) the rear.

Double penetration – The act of having more than one person or thing, such as a dildo or vibrator, penetrating you at the same timeThis could be vaginal, anal or oral penetration.

Dental dam – A dental dam is a thin piece of latex rubber or silicone that is used to cover someone’s vulva or anus when offering them oral sex. Dental dams reduce the risk of some STI’s including HIV, herpes and genital warts. If you don’t have a dental dam to hand, you could use a piece of castrong cling film instead. Always hold it tight and be very careful not to inhale it!

Now that you’ve read all about the sexy letter ‘D’, why not go back and read about A, B and C?

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