I’m always interested in tech developments that mean we can have cooler sex, or masturbate in new and interesting ways. With teledildonics (yes, that’s a real thing) breaking through into the marketplace, I’m looking at what the future of sex tech might look like. Join me in the year 2200…
I’ll break the bad news to you first: we don’t have hoverboards. Sorry. It turns out that the technology to recreate Back to the Future II is still a long way off. The good news, though, is that when it comes to sex toys, the future’s looking pretty bright indeed.
Teledildonics – the art of combining virtual reality and real-life sex toys – has really taken off. Long-distance sex is now much easier, meaning that couples can sit at computers in different parts of the world and have ‘virtual’ sex. This technology is already available, although it’s in its early stages. Long-distance play is already possible via app-enabled toys such as the We Vibe 4 Plus. You can use a phone app to direct the vibrations of the toy, meaning you can bring your partner to orgasm and maintain a close connection even over a long distance.
Advances in this technology could see you using a dildo (or a Fleshlight) that responds to a corresponding toy over a longer distance. In fact, Kiiroo is a company that is already experimenting with exactly that. Recently, technology site Engadget reviewed the Kiiroo Onyx – a vibrator and masturbator combo that can be connected via the net. One person puts their penis in the tube, and another person stimulates the ‘pearl’ vibrator – the sensations are passed through to the tube, stimulating the penis.
While we’re on the subject of tech reviews – in the year 2200 we’ll have got rid of a lot of our shyness around the topic of sex, and sex toy reviews will be far more mainstream. Not just the reviews you see on sites like this one, but articles about the most powerful, interesting, revolutionary sex toys – in mainstream newspapers and magazines. Who knows, maybe one day we’ll even see the best sex toys sporting a ‘Good Housekeeping award’ logo.
Another new addition: sex toy vending machines. Bear with me if you think this is unusual – they actually exist already, so it’s not a greap leap to imagine they’ll become more commonplace. In Japan, many Love Hotels (hotels which you go to for a bit of alone time with your partner – often rented by the hour) already offer sex toy vending machines in the rooms, in case you forgot to bring your favourite rabbit vibrator on your dirty weekend. And this week Mashable reported on the company PinkBox, which aims to equip various adult events with their own sex toy vending machines.
If you’ve picked up a new toy but you don’t have a partner to test it out with, then you might instead like to reach for your VR headset and watch some Virtual Reality porn. Developers and producers are currently working on ways to bring the porn action of the small screen to an even more intimate place – the Oculus Rift headset. Strapped to your face, the Oculus Rift creates a deceptive sense of privacy, and once you’re inside you can look around – up, down, behind you – to see whichever bits of the action you most want to experience. Not only that, but using hardware such as Google Glass, in the future it may be possible to record your own point-of-view porn, then watch it back on your virtual reality headset at a later date. Ahhhh, memories.
Now there are plenty of things I haven’t mentioned here – self-driving cars that mean you could spend your journey to work catching up on some ‘alone time’, or fitness apps that track every orgasm as well as every step. Can you think of any other awesome sex tech advancements that could make our lives hotter in the future? I’ve got a pen, a notepad, and an itching desire to start a brand new trend…