There is nothing like a bit of dirty talk to turn the heat up in the bedroom. In fact, dirty talk can get the party started even before you’ve got to the bedroom! Talking dirty to each other can deepen intimacy, create a special bond, add new sparks and definitely get you both hot and steamy. If the thought of talking dirty to your lover feels more intimidating than stimulating, here are a few tips to get you started.
Test the waters first. Slowly and gently add a bit of dirty talk to your next bedroom encounter. Depending on what you are saying, you might want to use a low seductive voice or a more deliberate, commanding voice. Try describing what it is that you’re doing – not in an announcer calling the shots kind of way, but in a sensual, erotic way – ‘I love licking your pert nipples’, ‘Your c**k feels so thick and hard in my hand’.
If you get a positive response to this, carry on by describing not just what you’re doing now, but what you’re going to be doing soon – ‘I’m nibbling my way down to your thighs, then I’m gonna bury my face in your wet p***y’. Make sure to pay plenty of attention to what you’re actually doing too and not get lost with the words. It can take some practice to get used to talking dirty, so don’t rush it.
If you’re not comfortable describing what you’re doing, you could try asking questions – ‘How does it feel when I squeeze your ass?’, ‘Would you like me to suck your nipples?’, ‘Would you like me to…’.
Use plenty of descriptive words such as wet, juicy, hot, throbbing, hard, and slippery. If you know that you’re partner is up for it you can throw in some words that in the wrong context feel derogatory, but in your own personal play have a bit of sizzle. Try slut, whore, pimp, b**ch, etc.
Rather than referring to your genitals as ‘down there’ or ‘nether regions’, talk about your throbbing c**k, pumping love shaft, dripping wet p***y, juicy c**t or whatever else turns you on. Reclaim these words to empower and enliven your sex play!
Don’t be afraid to swear! Swear words are rampant in our society and have a charge to them, therefore using them in your dirty talk can add a charge to whatever’s going on. Just make sure that the person you’re with won’t be offended.
In this day and age of electronic communication you can start the dirty talk early and get things simmering for later on. You can send your partner a dirty text or email – but be VERY careful to make sure you send it to the right person! If you’re worried about it, use old-fashioned notes. Stick a note with a saucy message on it in your partner’s pocket or bag for them to find later at work. If you’re out together and you want to put things on to boil before you get home, try whispering in your partner’s ear. Let them know all the things you want to do to them later!
If you’re really unsure about how to get the dirty talk going, read some erotic novels and adopt whatever lines get you hot and bothered. Try ‘Sex at Work’ by Miranda Forbes or any other erotic books or articles that float your boat.
Another way to try talking dirty if you’re still not sure is to role-play. Maybe you wouldn’t talk dirty but the ‘Captain of a Pirate Ship’ or ‘Evil Princess’ might! See what comes out of your mouth if you just allow your character to take over for a while. Most of all take your time, have fun and see what happens. Remember, practice makes perfect!