I often get emails from people who feel their sex life isn’t up to scratch because it isn’t like the porn they watch, or the latest celebrity sex scandal. They seem to have the idea that if they’re not regularly swinging from the chandeliers or taking it up the bum then they must be doing it wrong. Time and again people tell me that they feel like they’re supposed to be living up to some wild, at-it-all-the-time sex life, which in reality isn’t what they want or what suits them.
Instead of worrying about what everyone else is getting up to, how about we get honest with ourselves and our partners about what we actually want and how often we want it. How about we live our own sex lives and stop beating ourselves up for not having someone else’s? It’s not like there is a right or wrong way!
Think about creating the sex life you want. It doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing. What works for you, in your life, in your situation? What are your desires and fantasies? Most importantly, what do you want from your sex life? When I ask people this, most often they tell me that they want to feel pleasure, intimacy, and connection. That’s wonderful and it also doesn’t require crazy sexual gymnastics to achieve.
By all means try new things, be adventurous from time to time, but do it in a way that suits you. All the juicy, wild and adventurous stuff is fabulous if it’s your cup of tea however, you must find what is right for you. Once you do that, you won’t care much what anyone else is getting up to because you’ll be too busy enjoying your sexy self!