Stop focusing on the problem, start creating solutions

It is a Universal law that energy follows intention. The saying ‘where the mind goes, energy flows’ is absolutely true. Since this is the case, it is really important to be mindful of our thoughts. It is our thoughts that are creating our world and our experiences.

If you are experiencing problems with your relationship or sex life, rather than focusing on the problem, start to look in the direction of a solution. For example, if you feel your husband doesn’t listen to you, spending time complaining about that to your friends will not improve the situation. In fact, what you’re actually doing is adding lots of strong energy to the experience of, ‘My husband doesn’t listen to me’. The more you talk about that, the more energy you give it, the more it will be held in place. If you want to change the situation, start to focus on positive aspects of your relationship. Take note of how good you feel when he does other things. When he does listen, let him know how much you appreciate it. Be a better listener yourself. Whether with your husband, work colleagues or friends, be the best listener you can be. Instead of complaining about your relationship to your friends, tell them how much you love your partner and why you love being with them. Encourage ‘good listening’ energy all around you, from a place of positivity and joy, rather than misery and complaining.

Another way to think about this is to focus on what you do want not what you don’t want. For example, Mother Teresa famously said, ‘I will never attend an anti-war rally; if you have a peace rally, invite me.’ She meant that she would not focus on war because she didn’t want to add energy to it. She did want peace and so would be happy to focus on that.

Sometimes, in order to know what we do want, we have to experience what we don’t want. We often learn by the contrast. That is fine. As soon as you recognise something in your life that you don’t want, rather than focussing on not wanting it and moaning about it, put your thoughts towards what you do want. You will be amazed at the results!

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