I’m calling it: summer is officially over. Those nice long evenings when you could sit in the garden with a glass of wine are drawing to a close, and many of you might even be taking drastic steps such as hunting down your cosiest jumpers or even – shock – putting the heating on. As winter gets closer, it’s time to start getting creative with our sex and masturbation habits: finding sex toys and accessories that will keep us warm until the sun returns sometime in June 2018.
Here are my top recommendations for sex toys and accessories to buy now, so you can enjoy them all through the winter.
Remote Control Warming Butt Plug
You heard that right: there is such a thing as a butt-plug that acts as a kind of human central-heating system. OK, perhaps not as hot as your radiators (that would be painful and dangerous: do not try it at home). But the Svakom Primo Remote Control Warming Butt Plug And G Spot Vibrator can help you through that awkward couple of minutes at the beginning of a winter shag when you have to blow on your sex toys to try and warm them up.
There’s nothing less sexy than reaching for the bedside drawer and finding your toys are so chilly they might as well be covered in frost. The warming mechanism inside this plug will gently heat the toy, so that all you need to do is add lube and enjoy.
Tenga Hole Warmer
If you’re looking for something that does a similar job the other way round, then the Tenga Hole Warmer is your best bet. It works a little like those heat packs you can buy to keep your hands warm while you’re hiking: chemicals inside react with each other to give off an exothermic reaction. Which is a sciencey way of saying you snap the disc at the bottom of your Tenga Hole Warmer, and the whole thing will heat up. Then you simply pop it into your Tenga Vacuum Controller, or whichever male masturbator takes your fancy, and give it a few minutes to give off its warm glow.
Definitely better than trying to stay hard when your lubricant is borderline frozen.
While we’re on the subject of lubricant, there are certain kinds of lube that warm your skin as you apply them – the opposite of the menthol-y tingles of cooling lubes that work well during summer. ID Sensation Warming Liquid is a water-based lubricant that provides a gentle heat sensation on your skin. And because it’s water-based, it’s safe to use with your sex toys.
Edible massage candles
Just light the wick and let it melt for a while, and you’ll have a gorgeous-smelling and delicious-tasting oil to pour on your partner’s skin. You only need a few drops to start – drizzle them onto the skin and rub all over to give a wonderfully warming, cosy massage. These Earthly Body 2-in-1 scented massage candles are even safe to eat, which means you can combine touches with kisses and licks all over. Bonus sexy points if you can do all this on a nice big furry rug in front of a roaring fire.
Icicles beaded glass dildo
For my fourth and final trick, I’m going to take the coldest-sounding sex toy on the whole website and explain to you how it can actually be used hot. This Icicles beaded glass dildo certainly doesn’t sound like the kind of thing that could keep you cosy during the winter, but appearances can be deceiving. The fantastic thing about glass sex toys (this goes for glass butt plugs too) is that you can warm them up and use them for temperature play. Put your dildo in a glass of warm water about five minutes before you’re planning on playing, and the glass will start heating up. You need to be careful with the temperature, of course: you’re looking for warm water, not boiling (ouch!). To make sure it’s not too hot before you put it near your genitals, try the wrist test: press it against the soft skin on the inside of your wrist to make sure you get the ‘Goldilocks’ temperature: not too hot, and not too cold.
Some of you might be mourning the end of summer, while others might be excited for the long winter nights and the possibility of a white Christmas. But whether you’re a summer or winter person, everyone likes having something to keep them cosy when the weather’s chilly outside. Pick up some of these winter warmer sex toys – or check out what’s new and what’s in the sale. After all, when it comes down to it, sex is a great way to stay warm anyway, regardless of what you’re using. So with the money you’ll save on heating bills, buying sex toys is an excellent investment.