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Sex toys – a man’s point of view

Whether you’re young or old, for women, the use of a sex aid is almost expected and about as far from taboo as it can be (unless a stranger finds one in your handbag, then it’s red faces all round). But for men, the sex toy market is still a minefield of embarrassment that can often provoke ridicule from their peers.


For most laddy, macho men it reeks of desperation – a sign that you’re so bad at pulling you have to spend money to improve your solo sexual existence. On top of this, if you have a girlfriend, there’s a very distinct chance that she will feel a bit put out by the fact that you seek to pleasure yourself in private with the use of an ultra-realistic vagina. All of which forces the man into having a ‘dirty secret’. Which is a shame as there is so much fun to be had with male sex aids, a lot more fun that you can have with your trusted right (or left) hand.

We don’t need a survey to estimate that at least 99.9999999% of men masturbate, but apparently 45% of men HAVE used a vibrator – although, as a man myself I would assume that this was to pleasure a woman. That’s what most men would claim anyway.

However, most of this masturbation is likely to have been with their hand, or with some kind of makeshift vagina substitute. Contrary to what the famous film suggests, apple pie is not as common as one might think – however, cutting a hole in a melon actually is. Crazy considering that we are now living in the 21st Century… yes, the future, where real-life moulds taken from porn stars’ vaginas are readily available for your sexual needs.

I can’t even begin to count the amount of times I’ve knocked one out over Belladonna, but to have some fun with her Extreme Pussy and Ass is a whole new level of sexual gratification that I could never have imagined when Belladonna was one of my top wanking enhancers all those years ago (last week). The unit is a mould of her down-belows complete with a pair of hands pulling the holes apart in true Belladonna style. A whole lot of male fantasies made true with the use of ultra-realistic UR3 cyberskin. UR3 is a latex free rubber that feels like skin to the touch. Amazing, we really are living in the future.

Or get yourself something a little cheaper in the form of Tenga Egg, crack it open and you get a textured sleeve and lube inside.  Imagine using your hand, but with a lubed up stimulation sleeve attached to it instead of your grubby palm and Vaseline – much better than your hand and at a price that is beyond reasonable.

For the discerning gentleman, and those who want to be able to keep their sex aids kept well under wraps, one of the world’s most popular masturbation enhancers is the Fleshlight (yes, that product you see advertised on virtually every porn site in the world). It’s popularity is well-deserved. The real feel sleeve is discreetly tucked away inside a torch-esque shell, which means you can throw it in your toolbox where no one will look and whip it out, so to speak, when you’re in need of a quickie. Just make sure you don’t get it mixed up with a real torch, you’ll be hard pushed explaining the incident that ensues to the doctors in the emergency ward.

If you are really worried that your girlfriend is going to discover your ‘dirty secret’ and dump you for her Jessica Rabbit, then a simple alternative to enhance sex for both of you is a cock ring. Simple in its nature, though it is available in several snazzy varieties, the cock ring is great for many reasons. First of all, for the guy who’s worried about the size of his manhood it helps to make your ‘chap’ grow in stature to stand tall, wide and proud – as though he’s been working out at the gym in secret. Your girlfriend will certainly see you, and your ‘chap’, in a whole new light. On top of this take note of the enhanced feelings both you and your partner can experience from a cock ring – a vibrating one will help stimulate her clitoris and the base of your penis, while other models feature nodules and ticklers which all help to make the bedroom experience a mutually satisfying one… and she won’t be angry at your for ‘cheating’ on her with Belladonna like mine was.

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