Sex toys: does your partner love ’em or hate ’em?

A while ago we asked you for your thoughts on partners and sex toy use – does your partner like you using toys? Do you share them with each other during sex? Or are they purely a solo thing for you? Get answering!

Sex toys have, for me, always been something that I share with my partners. Whether it’s buying toys to use together while we shag, or buying toys that I can use on my own, and then tell them about later, I think my other half could not only give you a fairly accurate list of what’s in my shag-drawer, he could also tell you exactly which of them hit the right spot when I’m in a particular mood.

Likewise, with sex toys that guys I know have owned, I’ve always wanted to know what they’re using. Not out of jealousy, but out of delight, and the possibility that they might let me have a go and see if I can use them as well as the guy himself would.

But I know not everyone’s the same – some people have sex toys that are purely private, personal ones: things they don’t want to use with their partner. Others have partners who feel uncomfortable about sex toys, and would rather not think of their other half having solo fun.

There are reasons why I’m pondering this – mainly because every now and then someone will come and comment on my blog with a story along the lines of ‘my wife doesn’t know that I…’ or ‘my other half wouldn’t like it if they knew that I…’ and it got me wondering. I feel like we’re getting much better, as a society, when it comes to talking about sex. We’re more likely to embrace our masturbatory habits than people in the repressed 1950s, and we’re certainly more comfortable buying and using things that are designed solely to make sex feel better. But are we as progressive as I tend to think?

We all live in a bit of a bubble when it comes to our own opinions: I’m not likely to be best friends with people who don’t think in similar ways to me, despite the fact that people who disagree may be far more numerous than my own sexually-progressive, Guardian-reading pals. Likewise someone who thinks sex toys should be hidden from your partner is unlikely to meet many people like me who scatter lube bottles around the bedroom so there’s always some to hand, and have occasional dildo swordfights with their other half.

I’d like to know though, and would too – please fill out this survey, and let us know your thoughts in the comments. How do you feel about your other half’s sex toy collection (if they have one) and how do they feel about yours?

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