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BREAKING: Now you can literally eat your own pussy

Have you ever thought ‘masturbating
with
amazing sex toys is all well and good, but what I would really
like to do is eat my own pussy’? Have you longed for a day when you
could cast an exact replica of your vulva out of chocolate and then
gorge on it like some kind of X-rated Easter bunny? Well the wait is
over and that day has finally come! Allow me to present: the
clone-a-pussy chocolate kit.

For a long time now, you’ve been able
to take a perfect cast of someone’s penis and then use it to mould
either a chocolate version (if you’re hungry), or a silicone version
(if you’d like to be able to use it in sex play). But until today, I
had no idea that I even
wanted to eat my own muff, let alone
that such a thing was possible.

But when I logged on to the ‘new releases’ section of SexToys.co.uk to find inspiration for today’s blog post, I was kind of
mesmerised by the
clone-a-pussy chocolate kit. Because now that I
know I
can do this weird but delicious thing, I feel like I
absolutely
have to.

Pussy pride

Vaginas and vulvas come in a very wide
range of shapes, sizes, colours, textures and… well… anything you
can imagine. And yet often what we see in porn is kind of homogenous
– there seems to be a trend towards ‘neat’ labia and perfectly
trimmed pubic hair. I didn’t realise, when I was younger, that there
could be such a huge variety in how things looked downstairs, because
the only real models I had to go on were my own and those I’d seen in
porn.

But vulval variety is the spice of life
– just ask any of the fabulous people who have joined in with
Molly
Moore’s Pussy Pride Project
. Molly is a blogger who runs the site
MollysDailyKiss.com, and back in 2011 she began the project. It’s a
way for people to celebrate the variety and beauty of lots of
different pussies. People contribute their stories, thoughts and
images (so beware – some of the links are NSFW) and it makes for a
fascinating dip into other people’s ideas about their own bodies.

Pride in your delicious pussy

Why is it so important? Well, apart
from it just being fun to talk about (and look at) naked humans, it’s
also a really positive way to highlight differences and uniquenesses.
In a world where young people are encouraged by the media and peers
to try and ‘fit in’ – have bodies that meet certain very strict and
often impossible standards of appearance – it’s really liberating
to celebrate the fact that we’re all incredibly different.

And – bear with me, because I realise
this may sound like a stretch – I think making a chocolate cast of
your own vulva can be a valuable addition to this.

Think about it:

  • You get to spend a lot of time casting
    your own bits, all the while becoming more familiar with every fold
    and crevice that makes you unique.
  • When your cast is done, you get to
    observe yourself the way someone else might see you (albeit this time
    cast out of milk chocolate). You can see angles and perspectives that
    you wouldn’t normally see, unless you were squatting over a mirror.
  • Finally, you get to express your love
    for the utter deliciousness of you by literally eating your own muff.

It’s genius, I tell you. Of course, if
you’re more generous than I am, you might instead choose to give your
perfectly-sculpted chocolate vulva to a friend or loved one, and
watch as they gorge themselves on it. Which, now that I write it down
like that, also sounds incredibly erotic.

If you want something a little more
permanent, you can buy other moulding kits here that’ll allow you to
cast
a penis in silicone
. Sadly there isn’t one of these for vulvas
just yet, presumably because a silicone penis will make for a decent
sex toy but as yet a silicone vulva just makes art – you’d need to
attach it to some kind of silicone tunnel like you get on the moulded
Fleshlights. But for now I am happy with the chocolate one: I can
celebrate the excellence of my own genitals, then finish the
adventure off with a very tasty snack.

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