I love reading men who write sex toy reviews. Why? Well, because like many amateur perverts, the idea of gentlemen masturbating makes me even hornier than actual masturbation. Moreover, as a lazy bastard, it is my life’s mission to discover a toy that allows me to give men mind-blowing hand jobs without pulling muscles in my biceps.
So when Emma (who works at sextoys.co.uk and is responsible for much of the filth that’s published here at the Vibe) asked me to check out Incendiaire Reviews, I turned to his site so quickly I nearly got whiplash.
Who is Incendiaire?
He is a single gay dude in his early twenties, with a passion for amazing sex toys. He reviews a wide range of toys, from masturbators to vibrators and prostate massagers, as well as other useful things like lube.
If you’re a guy, and you want to orgasm in new and exciting ways, you should check out some of his reviews and then buy something that takes your fancy. Personally I’m keen to get hold of a Pulse, so that I can repeat the ‘sprinkler jizz’ trick on my partner and cement my place in the hand-job history books.
There are many reasons why he is awesome:
Reason one: he has a massive – and I mean MASSIVE – collection of Fleshjacks. You’ve heard of a Fleshlight, right? Of course you have – you’re here after all. Well, a Fleshjack is a recreation of the cock of a particularly hot male porn star. Like Fleshlights, they come in a range of different types depending on the member in question: short, long, fat, thin, and all of them utterly beautiful.
Reason two: he reviews things that many others don’t. I’ve seen no end of reviews for the more common products – obviously reviewers are likely to only want to review things they’d actually use, and more niche products often fall by the wayside. However, Incendiaire has amassed a really impressive range of reviews. One of my particular favourites is this one of the Doc Johnson Gapers inflatable butt plug – I haven’t seen many inflatable butt plugs reviewed, despite the fact that they are AMAZING toys, especially for people who are keen on anal but haven’t done a huge amount of butt-play before. The fact that they’re adjustable means you should be able to get them to the right size for you, and Incendiaire’s reviews are thorough enough that you can trust you’re buying a decent one.
Reason three: he is incredibly detailed. This is clearly a bonus if you are a guy trying to choose a masturbator to meet your own particular needs, but from my perspective as someone who likes reading about guys masturbating, it is especially good. For example, I direct you to this excellent post about the Tenga Onacup masturbator:
“When it comes to thrusting with the toy at speed the individual textures become somewhat lost, and they’re just not prominent enough to be discernible. I don’t think that this is necessarily a bad thing though, because the textures all just seem to meld together into one very pleasurable blur, rather than you losing them. What I like about the Deep Throat Cup is that it’s not over-stimulating; it delivers a lot of enjoyable sensations, but it doesn’t overpower you and have you needing to stop every few minutes for fear of cumming too early. You can carry on for a reasonably long time, allowing things to slowly build up, until you’re ready to let loose.”
See what I mean? Perhaps. If his reviews have inspired you to make a purchase of your own, I’d recommend heading to the section on male masturbators and having a look around. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be in my bunk.