Summer plus sex equals sweat, so here’s some advice on the hottest three ways to cool it down.
It’s all very well handing out advice on how to have awesome anal sex, or the best way to use a Fleshlight on your lover, but sometimes the most important sexual questions are the ones we’re not sure how to ask. Like ‘if I’m spanking, is it better to keep my fingers together or apart?’ (together), and ‘what exactly is the perineum?’ (the bit between the genitals and the arse).
This week, I thought I’d bring my years of sweating experience to bear on the age-old dilemma: how does one shag in the summer without turning into a sticky mess?
Naturally the first point to make is that often, turning into a sticky mess is the entire point. I’m a big fan of sex sweat – in fact, any sweat that comes out of my partner as a result of frantic exercise smells pretty damn good to me – and the unspoken conclusion at the end of a hot, dripping sex session is that the whole thing went rather well. There’s no need to be embarrassed about sweating, it’s very much a sign of a job well done.
However, as the hot nights draw in, excessive mugginess can make one feel anything but sexy. If you’re sticky and warm, the last thing you want to do is dive beneath the duvet and engage in a marathon hump. Never fear, though: there are ways to enjoy sex in the summer that don’t require pointing twenty cooling fans at your bed and praying for a thunderstorm.
1. Use the power of ice
I know, using ice in bed is the kind of sex tip that’s been recommended so often in magazines we all now write it off as boring. But trust me on this: I used to live in a country that was so hot in the summer I’d have slept in the fridge if it was big enough. Grabbing a glass of ice cubes before sex means you can do all the shivery things they recommend in the magazines, with the added bonus that your partner will make those satisfied ‘oh God aaah’ noises that mean they’re truly comfortable.
If you’re feeling adventurous, you can combine the cooling power of ice with your favourite glass dildo or butt plug. I’d advise you not to cool it too much – you’re aiming for ‘nice sensation’ rather than ‘terrifying shock’ – but you can test the temperature on your skin (inside the wrist is a good sensitive place to try it) and make sure it’s perfect before you slide inside.
2. Grab some cooling lube
While we’re on the subject of sliding, although most people are aware of tingling or warming lubes, I see far fewer mentions of cooling ones. However, you can buy lubes that are designed to cool you down:
Both of these lubes are water-based, so they’re safe to use with silicone toys if that’s what takes your fancy, or you can use them on their own to give a bit of extra chill to a hand job or summery shag.
3. Cold, cold water
If neither of the above takes your fancy, then harness that amazing feeling of splashing into a cold paddling pool to cool off on a warm day. Depending on how remote your house is, or how high your garden fence, you might want to avoid shagging in a paddling pool in your actual garden, but a similar effect can be achieved by filling your bath up with lukewarm water (never fully cold – you’re not trying to contract hypothermia), and engaging in some wet and splashy sex.
You know me, people, I am clumsy and crap at any kind of watery thing, but I won’t let my own biases prevent me from including it, because I’m told it can be very fun. You’ll probably want some silicone lube though – this is less likely to wash off in the water, which means you’ve time for more than just a quickie.
There you have it – three top tips for having sex in the summer, if you need to cool down before you can warm it up. Please leave your own tips in the comments (or on Twitter @sextoysuk), and remember that if all else fails, a spanking paddle doubles up as a handy, portable fan.