How can I be sexual and single without sleeping around?

I recently came across a blog in which a woman had asked,


‘How do I cope with my strong sexual energy when I’m single and don’t want to sleep around? I don’t want to suppress this energy, I want to learn how to live as a balanced spiritual, emotional, physical and sexual being – even when I’m single’

It turns out she came from a strong religious background and wanted to wait until she was married to have sex.

The person she had written to didn’t seem to have any good answers, only more questions and so put it to the readers of the site to help this woman out. I have to say, I was not only utterly shocked by the comments and suggestions, but deeply saddened too. Almost every single answer urged her to either ignore her sexual feelings, avoid anything or anyone that might stir them up and to exercise herself to exhaustion. What the f***?

I’m not a member of the website in question, so could not answer her directly. However, I would like to answer her, and anyone else in a similar situation, here:

Your sexual energy is a natural part of who you are. It is not there to trick you or cause you upset or pain. It’s to be enjoyed, celebrated and experienced fully. It can boost your confidence, your immune system and keep you young. If you want to wait till you’re married to share it with someone, that’s great, that is your decision. In the meantime, and even when you are with a partner, it’s still yours to enjoy and nurture. It is not a mistake that that it feels amazing!

If you are feeling strong sexual urges, then allow that energy to flow through you, don’t suppress it. Breathe it up from your genitals into other parts of your body. Personally, I’d recommend you experiment with self-pleasuring and masturbating. Be your own amazing lover. Play with sex toys. Explore your body, see what gives you pleasure. Massage your whole body with luscious oils. Let your sexual energy flow through you when you dance, clean the house or go shopping. Make friends with it and know that it is perfectly natural, healthy and good for you.

 

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