There are some sex toys that only last
about five minutes on my wish list before either I or my partner buys
them. Furry tail butt plugs, for instance, press his ‘hot’ buttons as
well as mine, so it didn’t take long from ‘ooh that looks nice’ to a
package arriving – discreetly wrapped – in the post. Other sex
toys, however, require anticipation: either allowing me time to
persuade my other half that he really wants to try them with me, or a
little extra money, or both.
At the moment Sex Toys is offering 20%
off in celebration of National Orgasm Day – use the code ORGASM20
when you check out – so what better time to tick off some of your
bucket list sex toys?
There are so many things on my bucket
list, I had to narrow my bucket list sex toy choices down to three.
I’ve chosen one sex toy that I’ve already crossed off my bucket list
which I think you should try while you can pick it up cheaply, one
that will be crossed off soon, and one that will probably languish
there forever until I can find a guy willing to try it with me…
Bucket list sex toy: The Lelo Hugo
I’m going to start with a sex toy that
I have already crossed off my bucket list, but which I want to
mention to you in case you haven’t yet been able to try it. If you
want to make the most of the sale discounts, buying expensive toys
that are suddenly a bargain is an excellent place to start.
is a prostate massager, but not as you know it. Most
prostate massagers simply offer straight-up vibrations or patterned
vibrations, so you slide them in, turn them on, and away you go.
That’s pretty brilliant in and of itself, and I have spent many a
happy night with a guy watching him go crosseyed over a particularly
good prostate massage.
But the Lelo Hugo has an extra trick up
its sleeve: the remote control is motion sensitive. That means that
you can control the pulse and intensity of the vibration simply by
moving the controller. If you’re alone, this means that you can pop
the controller in your pocket and walk around the house or garden,
with each step the controller will jolt and the massager will tingle
and you’ll get a little thrill of delight. If you’re with a partner,
they can tip and shake the controller to give you those same
sensations. Try twinning it with a flogger – get your partner to
hold the controller in their flogging hand while they also give you a
sensual beating. Whenever the flogger smacks on your skin, the Hugo
controller sends powerful vibrations direct to your prostate.
Honestly, it’s incredible. I don’t have
a prostate but these tricks all work if you’re just using it as an
Bucket list sex toy: A penis
I think these should more realistically
be called ‘dick exoskeletons’, and I shall petition the sex toy
industry to switch to this far more fun descriptor from hereon out.
These are like silicone cock rings that wrap around the base of your
penis, except with a cage/extender the silicone structure also wraps
up your shaft and around the head of your cock.
Brilliant because you get an extra
squeeze of sensation as it snugly grips your shaft, and doubly
brilliant because the resulting squeeze gives you a diamond-hard
erection. Many of these – like the
Lastic Couples Gladiator Sleeve
– also come with vibrators at
the base so when you’re using them during sex your cock vibrates as
well as thrusts in and out.
The reason I don’t like words like
‘extender’ is because I think they may put many guys off using them:
feeling like you need an extension on your penis might not be the
most confidence-boosting thing to start a shag with. But ultimately
this isn’t about size, it’s about turbocharging the awesome powers
your penis already has. And that’s why it’s on my bucket list.
It’s also why I suspect when I tell my
partner about it, it won’t be on my bucket list for very long…
Bucket list sex toy: A sex doll
OK, this one is a dream so big that it
probably won’t happen at any time in the near future but… yeah, I
really want to watch a guy I love shag a
. There. I said it. We’ve talked quite a lot about sex dolls
on the blog here before – they seem to stir very ‘Marmite’
emotions. You either love the idea of sex dolls, or you hate them.
They’re a niche and intriguing kink.
For some the appeal comes from the fact
that you can actually hump it – it takes away the masturbation
movement, and means you can get a lot more physical. Others like that
you can project personality onto them, giving them names and
anthropomorphising them so it feels like you’re with a person. And
some like the ‘fakeness’ of them: the feeling of sticky plastic and
the hyper-unrealism that might come from an
sex doll, for instance.
Me? I just like watching men hump
things. From a BDSM perspective, I can see delicious possibilities
for humiliation scenes, made up of guys being ordered to finish off
with a sex doll when what they are aching for is the real thing. And
from a simple horny perspective – because I am at best a simple,
horny creature – I quite like the idea of watching a guy have sex
thing that isn’t me. The extra effort required to
hump something rather than wank, working him up into a delicious
exhausted sweat. Lovely.
Unfortunately I think my sex doll
dreams may have to be laid to one side for now – remember what I
said about Marmite, you either love it or you hate it? My other half
is firmly in the ‘hate it’ camp. But I can dream, can’t I? While some
of these sex toys may stay on
my bucket list forever, you can
pick up whatever you fancy from this list or anywhere else on site.
Go forth, fulfil your (and my) bucket
list dreams! And don’t forget your 20% off – use code ORGASM 20 at checkout.