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Bondage – Does it tie you up in knots?

Most people have heard of the term ‘bondage’. The connotations of this can be as innocent as gentle velvet restraints in the bedroom, to the more extreme metal shackles and leather restraints of the BDSM culture. But what is bondage really all about?


The term ‘bondage’ derives from the verb ‘to bind’. When a person is bound, they are rendered physically immobile, despite any desires to the contrary. The term bondage, when used in a sexual or power exchange sense, therefore relates to physically controlling or restricting someone by various methods and techniques.

On a deeper and more psychological level, being physically restricted by another person means handing over all control to the one doing the binding. Mentally this can leave the restricted party feeling vulnerable, at the control and mercy of the one holding the keys, sometimes literally, to their freedom. This power exchange can be ironically very freeing and fulfilling, due to a loss of all control of body movement during the bondage session.

In our society, bondage is enjoyed by many different types of people. The vast majority will enjoy bondage as part of role play, kinky sex or some foray into previously unknown territory in the bedroom. It is fun and when practised safely can be a fantastic part of anyone and everyone’s sex life.

Safety is the key. When you tie someone up or bind them with whatever means, they are vulnerable to you. It is advisable to have a system in place where the bound subject will be immediately freed from all bondage should they mentally or physically require it. The emphasis is on fun, so if at any point you feel unsafe, in any serious discomfort or fearful, there needs to be a means to escape.

So what types of bondage are there? The answer is, many. I will cover the main forms of bondage to give an overview to this fascinating and fun subject, showing the spectrum from fun and flirty to hardcore and extreme.

Shy but sensual? Perhaps you are enticed by the idea of velvet or silken ropes in the bedroom, using soft cords to bind wrists while your lover explores your body. This can be combined with gentle sensation play, using wax, ice or feathers to tease your partner’s body as they writhe against the soft bonds.

Kinky and kooky? Perhaps a full bed restraint set would really spice things up for you. Adding some leather cuffs and anklets, either lockable or just buckled, will also stir the passion. Combined with the magic sensation of a pinwheel, your frenetic lust will be unparallelled as you explore this previously unchartered territory together.

Deliciously deviant? If you want to go the whole hog, lockable leather and metal shackles are now readily available even on popular mainstream sex toy and adult gift sites, such as Sextoys.co.uk. Oftentimes, the desire for bondage is combined with a desire for physical discipline while bound, for which there are a whole world of spankers, crops, floggers and whips available. This does teeter over into the world of BDSM, where D/s (Dominance & submission) and S&M (sadism & masochism) combine to achieve a complete new world of control, pleasure contrasting pain and other deeper psychological fetishes and desires that can fill a need in the psyche.

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