I am lucky enough to have a dear friend that is very experienced on the kink scene, in particular as a Dom. He lives it 24/7 in a committed triad relationship. We have played together, off and on, for the last couple of years. What usually happens is that he and his partner co-top my partner and me. We have had some mind-blowing, out of this world, ecstatic experiences together. Most of these have involved a good deal of flogging, caning, and other forms of impact play.
A couple of months ago, however, something very different happened. Something I was not expecting. It was also out of this world, but in a completely different way.
My friend came to stay for a long weekend on his own. My partner was away at the time. We had talked about the possibility of playing on our own, but it was not something that my partner and I were comfortable with at the time. As the weekend drew on, my friend and I spent some very lovely, intimate but not sexual time together.
On the last night he asked if he might give me a D/s experience of a different sort. One that would be utterly amazing and within all the boundaries of safety for our relationships. One that would fulfil his Dom needs and give me the opportunity to surrender into a beautiful space of submission. I was definitely interested and asked him to explain further. Once I understood better what was on offer, I immediately phoned my partner, explained and negotiated what would work for both of us. My partner was absolutely delighted for me and gave his blessing.
I felt myself sink deeper and deeper into a place of complete ‘let go’
What happened next is that my loving Dom friend ran a bath and lit the bathroom with lots and lots of candles. I was then lead into the bathroom, softly undressed and helped into the waiting hot water. Very gently and lovingly he held me and bathed me. He stroked my tired aching back, soothed my sore muscles and even massaged my toes. He whispered all sorts of intimate, relaxing instructions into my ears as I felt myself sink deeper and deeper into a place of complete ‘let go’. If he had not been holding me I might have sunk right under the water!
Eventually he helped me to stand up and dried me off. It was very sensual but also totally within the boundaries we’d set. He then walked me to my bed, tucked me in and cuddled me until I fell asleep. I felt completely relaxed, deeply loved and slept better than I’d slept for months.
So often we expect a D/s experience to involve pain, impact or other forms of delicious viciousness. This experience was totally different. I had needed to relax for months and couldn’t quite do it. His loving way of taking control and ‘forcing’ me to relax was exactly what I needed and beautiful for us both to experience.