Following on with my writing for a series of features for our sexually educated friends at Ohh My, this month sees me getting all flushed in the cheeks with the fetish of Spanking…
Recap: Ohh My have tasked me with researching and writing (whilst adding in my own experiences and opinions) a series that will travel the Kink and Fetish spectrum. These articles will be educational, eye-opening and suggestive and will make for a great read on your tea break at work! Why not leave the article open on your computer for your lover to ‘accidentally’ read? I do hope these features open up your sexual exploration or at least your mind to the possibilities within the world of Kink! Enjoy.
So we’ve all been fully baptised in the pool of Fifty Shades for what seems like forever now and with the cupboard of kink fully opened, even aunty Marge is nudging you with her elbow and winking her eye when she sees you with anything vaguely whip-shaped near your partner. Granted, the media and society more importantly, has become more open with explicit bedroom antics but what’s going on in said bedrooms has been going on for a long while now. This month, we’re having a little look at the art of Spanking and why many of us enjoy a smacked bottom. Naughty.
Before you settle down to enjoy my Kink scripture today, I must mention that in order to keep this feature shorter and sweeter, I will be focusing mainly on spanking of the posterior and sexualisation of spanking in this area. Of course spanking can take place across the entire body, so do not feel disheartened if I do not feature your favourite spot to be struck.
A lot of us have been known to class ourselves as a “bum person” when it comes to body part preference on the opposite sex but why is this? Sexologist Alfred Kind has previously suggested that the buttocks are the “primary sexual presentation site in primates” with evolutionary psychologists also suggesting that rounded buttocks may have evolved to be desirable because they provide a visual indication of the woman’s youth and fertility. Additionally, the buttocks give a good visual indication of the shape and size of the pelvis, which impacts reproductive capability.(1)
In Studies in the Psychology of Sex, published in 1927 and written by British physician and sexual psychologist Havelock Ellis, he describes cultural sexual characteristics of the buttocks, saying:
Thus we find, among most of the people of Europe, Asia and Africa, the chief continents of the world, that the large hips and buttocks of women are commonly regarded as an important feature of beauty. This sexual character represents the most decided structural deviation of the feminine type from the masculine, a deviation demanded by the reproductive function of women, and in the admiration it arouses sexual selection is thus working in a line with natural selection.(2)
Of course when it comes to male spanking, there is perhaps less of a subconscious reproductive urge and more of a primal power exchange and general appreciation of the sculpted, male form. Either way, the nerve endings in this area are extremely sensitive to differing sensations in both sexes.
Of course it is important to acknowledge the psychology behind spanking (and many other fetishes) and the links with parental figures, childhood punishment and general power exchange translated into our adult lives. Aside from the physicality of spanking and its power of arousal, as with a lot of fetish play, our pleasure is often (but not always) linked at a deeper, sometimes more unhealthy psychological level. This of course is an entire different feature all together!
Sexy Posteriors Through The Ages
You can track the sexual symbolism of the behind all the way back to at least 24,000BC with Grecian and Roman art and statues exhibiting exaggerated buttocks, hips and thighs. Thought to be a symbol of fertility and beauty not only in Western culture but globally, it would seem that not much has changed since then to present day!Erotic spanking really hit if off in Victorian Britain(3) with bared cheek being well documented in popular print, verse and art and the increased commercial consumption of erotica. Winding forward through history to the 50s, famous poster girls such as Betty Page brought spanking and bondage to our homes, making herself (and her peachy cheeks) a household name!
A Sensory Sensation
Aside from a good old thwack, there is actually a broad spectrum of spanking preferences, which makes sense as there is a broad spectrum of people out there! Depending on what spanking implement you choose to use, there will be differing sensations created when using them for spanking. Different people prefer varying sensations, some loving short, sharp stingy spanks whereas others might like the slap of a larger surface area like that of a paddle. The pleasure of the ‘spank’ often lasts well after the strike has been struck and the afterglow of a good spanking or even the appearance of lashings on the skin of a captive will contribute greatly to the pleasure gained. Much as some go nuts for the tickle of a feather, or the chill of an ice cube, spanking is merely another sensory soiree into sexual preference. However the feather tickler will always be a sign of innocent play whereas a leather whip invokes thoughts of the more sinister. We have still some ground to cover it would seem.
What To Use And How To Use It
As previously mentioned, different folks really do prefer different strokes. The type of tool used will vary the output of pleasure received greatly. By all means, if you’re stood in the kitchen with a wooden spoon in hand and feel a kinky spank session coming on, that’s fine, but there are products on the market made especially for your spanking pleasure. These include and are not limited to: Paddles, crops, floggers, and whips. These come in all manner of shapes, sizes and materials; from suede to leather, to long, short, fluffy and studded, the options are endless.(4)
It is paramount to remember, as with all kinds of power exchange, to communicate with your partner when it comes to how and when, perhaps even agreeing on a ‘safe word’ for when too much really is too much.
Something to consider if you’re trying spanking in the bedroom with your partner for the first time is, as mentioned, communication. If for instance, you know you love spanking and your partner hasn’t spanked anyone before, talk to them as you go along. As we all know, communication is keywhen it comes to sex and getting what we want sexually. If you want your partner to hit hard, then tell them so. If you feel like it’s not hard enough, try to refrain from shouting “HARDER!!!!!!!” at them as it may put them off their stride. For some, to be shouted at during being intimate is less dominant and more distressing! If you’re really discerning in the way you like to be spanked, set aside some time to discuss this after sex, not during…too much deliberation can put out the flame somewhat.(5)
Personally, whether or not you like it hard or soft, like it because you’re a sick puppy or an experimental lover, I really do think the odd spanking offers a great additional flavour to sex. Let’s face it, most types of sex are underlined with some sort of power play and to bring this to the forefront a little, in my opinion, is HOT. We’re only thinking it anyway!
To those who strut about in leather, practically looking like a dungeon keeper all the way to those who raise an eyebrow from behind their copy of Knitting Weekly at the sound of “erotic novel” coming from the six o’clock news, you know you love it and I love you for it!
1. Cultural History of the Buttocks – Wikipedia – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_history_of_the_buttocks
2. Studies in the Psychology of Sex – Havelock Ellis – Vol 6 – http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/13615
3. Cultural History of the Buttocks – Wikipedia – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_history_of_the_buttocks
4. Beginner’s guide to spanking – Emma Podmore (acting Journalist, Kate Gilbert) – 2012 – http://www.handbag.com/life/news/a428725/the-beginners-guide-to-spanking
5. Beginner’s guide to spanking – Emma Podmore (acting Journalist, Kate Gilbert) – 2012 – http://www.handbag.com/life/news/a428725/the-beginners-guide-to-spanking