This week our guest blog post comes from the fabulous Ms Diamonds from The Vibe. With an impressive personal sex toy collection (check it out at her blog here) and many years experience as a customer and shopper, we put a few of our customer questions to her to find out her opinion…
Q: I want to take a pamper pack away for my girlfriend and I to enjoy over a sexy weekend together, but we are not sure what to take! Any suggestions?
Diamonds: I made one of these up myself last year when my boyfriend and I were going away for the weekend. I took the advantage of buying items that would enable us to try some new experiences together as this is a brilliant opportunity to spice things up a little!
In my opinion, the following 5 items will prove to be a great start your sexy pamper pack…
- A bullet vibrator, such as the famous and popular RO 80mm Ammunition for Love bullet or the brand new RO 100mm Soft Tip which comes in a choice of colours! Small, discreet but oh so powerful these are the perfect toys to use in foreplay and sex.
- A bottle of Durex Play Cherry Lubricant, as it’s water based, condom friendly and tastes yummy! Brilliant for oral sex, to use with toys and for full intercourse!
- Toys are not just for us ladies, so I would also include a male masturbator like one of the Tenga Eggs. To add a a bit of variety these are perfect to make a hand or blow job more interesting! And they look pretty cool for a male toy too! I particularly like the Tenga Egg Sparkle.
- The Vanilla Bondage Kit provides a lovely soft introduction to some tying up and teasing in the relationship. And this kit has everything you need with its silk ties and soft but secure blindfold.
- Lastly there is absolutely nothing else that comes close to a Jimmyjane Massage Candle for adding intimacy to an occasion. From the light from the candle setting an ambient mood, to the silky soft body safe wax melting to a lush luxury scented massage oil, these candles will really turn both of you on when you use them for some erotic massage! They come in a choice of scents too, Blackcurrant, Bourbon, Cucumber Water, Dark Vanilla, Fig Leaf or Pink Lotus.
Q: My boyfriend wants me to try anal but I haven’t tried it before and I’m worried. What should I use to try and get used to it and do you have any advice?
Diamonds: Many people worry about trying anal sex for the first time due to the fear that it’s going to cause a lot of pain and that may also lead to some embarrassing moments. However many people take part and enjoy anal sex, it is a very individual thing but the main thing to do before rushing into full anal sex is to take your time and to build yourself up first.
To help you prepare for anal sex, I would advise:
- Staying relaxed. Being worried and tense will only make this kind of play more uncomfortable and more difficult to achieve.
- Use a good thick lubricant that is condom friendly, such as Swiss Navy Silicone Lubricant or ID Millennium Lube and lots of it. Anal play is only ever comfortable with the use of lots of lube as unlike elsewhere this is not a self-lubricating area.
- You need to build yourself up to any kind of anal play. Get the area used to the sensations by gently playing with generous amounts of lube on just a finger to begin with. Lightly trace the finger over and around the anus and gently and slowly start to insert your finger, starting with just the tip and then working yourself up over a period of time until a whole finger can be taken. Once being able to comfortably insert a finger you should move on to some kind of anal toys such as a set of beginners butt plugs, maybe something like the Finger Rimmer Set or Julie Ashton’s Anal beginners set. Once you have worked through the variety of sizes you may then wish to try an anal vibrator/dildo such as the Anal Starter 6 Inch or Premium Silicone Tool before taking your man.
- It’s always best to use condoms when having anal sex to prevent any embarrassing or nasty experiences and to cut risks of any kind of infections.
- You may wish to use an anal douche before taking indulging in anal play to make sure that you are fully clean in that area and for added comfort.
- Finally, make sure you never transition from anal to vaginal sex without first changing the condom if using them, or washing his cock thoroughly, to avoid the transmission of anything nasty to your sensitive internal areas!
Q: I have a fairly decent sex toys collection but want to branch out into a more kinky range. What do you think are the main things I’d need for a basic kinky bedroom kit?
Diamonds: I would say there are three main items you need for a basic kinky bedroom set, with two added extras if you want to take kinkiness a bit further.
- A really good blindfold, such as the Eyes of Desire Pink Love Mask, the pack of two Pleasure Masks or for complete luxury the Lelo Intima Silk Blindfold. As you will not being able to see what your partner is going to be doing to you, this will heighten all sensations and add to the anticipation. A blindfold is also excellent at paving the way to be able to introduce more bondage/kinky items such as handcuffs and other restraints.
- Now you have a blindfold it would be good to get a few items to add to the sensory play. Feather ticklers such as this Peacock Feather Tickler are normally a staple in many kinky toy boxes. But you can use other things such as silk ties, a piece of lace or even a velvet glove.
- After trying the blindfold and other sensory play items you might want to try adding the element of restraint. By restraining your partner you will be adding some control over their movements, which is the first foray into Power Exchange – the basis of all kinky and Fetish experiences. There is a wealth of different types of restraints out there, and I personally recommend a full restraint system such as the Soft Bondage Set or Fetish Fantasy Pink Passion Bondage Kit. I find these kits so much better than handcuffs or silk ties for full restraint, as they either work as an under bed system or can be tied to the bed post, connecting to velvet or fur lined cuffs. They offer both comfort and security, no quick release catches here for easy escape!
The following two items delve a bit deeper than the last two, however if you want a really kinky toy box then these are a must!
- A whip: Whips can offer many different sensations, they can give pure pleasure as well as inflicting pain. Whips come in many different materials, including leather, suede and rubber. These all provide a different experience to each other, as well as different sensations when being stroked by the tails of the whip.
- A paddle: Well you can’t have a bit of ‘slap and tickle’ with out the slap! So why not add a paddle into your toy box? Like a whip they offer a variety of sensations. Paddles often have each side coated in a different material. I would recommend either the Slap and Tickle Paddle or the Slap and Tickle Strap.
Q: I’m a plus size lady and I find it difficult to find lingerie that I feel sexy and confident in… do you have anything that would fit and suit me and what do you suggest?
Diamonds: As a fellow plus sized lady I know how difficult it is to find sexy affordable lingerie! Luckily sextoys.co.uk have a lovely range of sexy plus size lingerie that will include even more stunning items over the months to come!
As for which styles will suit you, it all depends on what type of body shape you have and if you have any parts of your body that you dislike!
I personally love babydolls and chemises. They offer you the choice of showing as much or as little as you want by coming in a variety of colours, materials and styles. Three examples of these, which I would suggest, are:
Another personal winner for me has got to be corsets, just like this Reversible Leopard Corset Set. This is sure to suck you in and push you out in all the right places. Team it with some stockings and suspenders and you will feel and look a million dollars!
Q: My girlfriend always complains sex is a bit painful for her, I think some lubricant could help but there’s so many we are not sure which to get! What’s the best for sex and is this different from lube for toys etc?
Diamonds: You’re completely correct in thinking that some lube could help your girlfriend to enjoy sex again.
I personally find water based lube to be the best type of lubricant and is an all rounder in the lube world, as it’s both condom and toy friendly.
I can personally recommend both of the following excellent lubes. Both of them are completely safe to use either for sex (with or without a condom) and to use with any toys you might have, silicone or otherwise.
- Juicy Lube Pumps – these are water based, flavoured lubricants that really are tasty – perfect for oral sex. They last ages and are not overly strong in flavour like some flavoured lubricants are. Please note that this lube does end up getting rather sticky! But what a perfect excuse to take things into the bathroom after, maybe with some waterproof toys!
- ID Glide Lube – this is America’s best selling water based lube and its easy to see why. With its thick clear consistency this lube lasts for absolutely ages and is excellent value for money. Its also non staining, fragrance free and will not cause any irritation.