Sex toys can be something of an enigma. It can be difficult to know when and how to bring them into a relationship. Some people may find the introduction of sex toys into a relationship daunting and it can bring up questions such as “Am I doing something wrong?” or lead to feelings of inadequacies on both sides of a relationship. Unfortunately it is society’s misconceptions that have led to these thoughts and feelings, there is nothing wrong with introducing a bit of spice into any relationship. It can even be an enlightening and satisfying experience, furthering trust and understanding between partners.

Choosing a sex toy for couples should be an adventure.
Time where you and your partner can sit down and talk about what you both want out of the experience and choose something together that meets both of your needs. Don’t dive straight into the scary bigger toys, start off slow, choose something that both of you find non-threatening. Communication is key when buying and using toys for the first time, a huge amount of trust is involved the first time, especially if one partner is apprehensive. Listen to what your partner thinks and feels, if there is something you wish to try that your partner is apprehensive about start slowly, build up to it, make sure you are both totally at ease or a positive experience could be turned into a negative one.

Once you have chosen a toy and have had the delight of unwrapping your new treasure you need to set the mood. Candles and soft music are the perfect platform to start off any sexual experience. Make the time special, unplug the phone, turn off the TV and concentrate fully on your partner, remember it is as new for them as it is for you. Slow sensual stimulation before bringing out the new toy is a good idea. Soft and loving touch heightens the sensations and helps towards a relaxing and enjoyable encounter.

When the time is right to introduce your new toy, take it slow, and relax into the sensations it gives you and your partner, make sure if you need lubrication you have it on hand, there is nothing worse than having to break the moment in search for something, and returning to find the moment has passed. Be honest and open, if you are not enjoying it, say so and stop, there is nothing wrong with admitting the toy you have chosen isn’t for you. Maybe the time isn’t right, stop and perhaps later try again. You also need to listen to your partner and look out for their reactions. Communication is essential and if they show any signs of discomfort stop. If you or your partner decides to stop and that the toy isn’t for you, try something else, there is a huge range of toys on the market, and there is something out there for everyone.

If you or your partner has issues, discuss them, there is no shame in being scared or apprehensive; discussing worries can form a strong bond and increase trust and understanding within a relationship.

But most importantly Relax have fun and enjoy it.

  • Try and choose something to suit both you and your partner’s needs together.
  • Communicate before hand, during and afterwards.
  • Set the Mood and relax
  • Start Slowly, simply and gently, paying attention to your partner
  • Make sure you use lubrication and have it on hand if needed
  • Don’t be afraid to stop if you or your partner is apprehensive
  • Talk out any Issues
  • Be patent and Understanding
  • Don’t be afraid to let your feelings be heard
  • Make sure you know how to clean and care for your new sex toy

Couple’s Sex Toys FAQs

1. Since the birth of our baby our sex life has gone out the window. I was thinking about buying something to get things back on track. Do you have any recommendations?

When you have a baby the dynamics of your relationship changes. Things go from being just the two if you, to revolving around someone else. Tiredness and stress are both libido killers and you need to put in the extra effort to keep things going.

Erotic massage is a great way to increase intimacy and relax and unwind from the stresses of the day. Spoil your partner by giving them a massage with a massager, make it extra special by using massage oil or a massage candle.

Once you’re both relaxed and ‘in the mood’ try incorporating a sex toy to breathe new life into your lovemaking. Vibrating cock rings are perfect for stimulating him and her and will keep him going for longer. Alternatively try a pleasure sleeve to turn the penis into something else!

We all know the more you have sex the more you want it so ensure you put the time and effort in, you’ll be glad you did!

2. My partner and I have fallen into the same routine. We know what each other likes and we tend to stick to the same thing. What can we do change things up a bit?

It’s easy to get stuck in a rut. You just need a little bit of inspiration!

We have a whole category dedicated to sexual positioning so finding something different shouldn’t be a problem. From cards that give you a different position for every week of the year to sex toys that enable you to have sex in the shower with ease. Alternatively invest in some sex furniture. Taking sex from the bed to somewhere different will ensure that you use your imagination.

3. My husband has hinted he would like to try strap on sex. I’ve never done anything like that before. Do you have any advice for me?

There are many items perfect for ‘pegging.’ There are strap on sets that have been designed for the beginner and have a small, smooth dildo aswell as a super comfortable adjustable harness for the wearer. Some even have 3 variable sizes in order for you to work your way up.

Before you start I would recommend using an anal douche to cleanse the area thoroughly. Once ready ensure you use lots of lubricant. There is lubricant specifically formulated for anal use, apply liberally.

Finally remember to take things slow and at your husband’s pace. Communication is key. Always ensure you are both comfortable with what is taking place and where anal play is concerned you should never get carried away.

4. We’ve tried cock rings and really liked them. Is there anything else we could try without breaking the bank? Something cheaper and effective?

Sleeves are a really great way to add that something extra. There are so many types of sleeves from textured, vibrating and extension but all have the same purpose; to add support and girth to the man whilst delivering stimulation to the woman.

Simply slip over the penis to enjoy a whole new dimension to your love making.

5. My boyfriend and I have been experimenting with power play. He is naturally more dominant and I am more submissive. We have tried soft bondage but I’m not ready to go harder yet. Is there anything else we could try?

You could try using remote control sex toys giving full control to your boyfriend. There are lots of toys you can use in the bedroom but if you feel brave enough, you could always take your pleasure outside. There are toys designed for you to wear inside your underwear – give the remote to your boyfriend and feel completely helpless as he ramps up the vibration.