Anal play is regarded as something of a taboo but it can be a positive and enjoyable experience adding a whole new element to your sex life. Urban myth states that if a man enjoys anal penetration of any kind then he must be gay, but it isn’t always so, a lot of heterosexual men enjoy anal stimulation but have no inclination to have anal sex with a man.
The main things to remember with any anal play is respect, understanding and LUBRICATION! Even the most experienced of people have ended up with a negative experience because they haven’t used lubrication.
Introducing anal play into your relationship can be a fun and exciting time but it is always best to make sure your partner is comfortable with the idea. Choosing a toy and lube together is one way of making sure that you both have full comprehension of what you have planned. Playing with a toy doesn’t always mean you will go on to have full anal sex, nor does it mean you are required to. How far you set your limits is up to you, remember in all bedroom play everything is consensual and you should never push your or your partners limits.
Choosing a toy is down to your own personal tastes, what lubrication you choose will mainly be tied to what toy you choose and also down to what you want from the lube. Silicone lubrication is fantastic for anal play as it never gets sticky and stays slick and smooth without constant re applications, but silicone lube cannot be used with a silicone toy.
The main thing to remember is to relax…when the body is relaxed it makes for a more enjoyable and successful experience. Cleanliness is essential with any anal play. A great way to set the mood is to bathe together allowing you to relax while paying heed to cleanliness. It is also good to remember when participating in any play that includes sensitive parts of the body to make sure your nails are trimmed and without any sharp points, making it a safer and comfortable for you and your partner. When starting penetration, go slow. It takes time for the muscles to relax and if you don’t give it the time needed it can lead to a burning sensation or even fissures in the skin. If you take it slowly and gently, communicating with your partner the whole time then it can be a very intense pleasurable experience. If at any time it hurts or is uncomfortable then stop and try again later. Make sure you discuss any issues with your partner and together work towards a successful pleasurable experience.
If you are using a toy such as a strap on or a larger dildo, it is best to start with some gentle fingering or analingus to prepare the muscles and help relax your partner, make sure you use plenty of lubrication and take it easy. It is easy to get carried away when you can’t feel the sensations yourself, so with this in mind, take the lead from your partner who should give you the indication as to what they are enjoying and what is really working for them. The Anal passage, is at a different angle to the vaginal passage, and it may take time to get used to the difference, especially if using a strap on where sensations for the user are limited, so be guided by your partner and take it slow and easy.
Anal play can also be introduced into your normal sex routine, allowing for much more diversity when playing. Some women enjoy using butt plugs while having vaginal sex, enjoying the feeling of being “full”, while their partner can enjoy the sensation of the toy pressing against him as the sheath between the vaginal passage and anal passage is fairly thin and any vibrations or textures can be felt. Men also enjoy the feeling of being “full” as women do, and using a butt plug during sex can give a whole new dimension and sensation. After engaging in any anal play the key is hygiene. Make sure you wash your toy thoroughly with a recommended cleaner and make sure your hands are thoroughly washed.
The key too good anal sex is preparation, make sure you are relaxed and have good lubrication on hand, silicone lubrication is highly recommended due the slick longevity of it. Anal sex if done properly should not hurt, if you experience any discomfort stop and review your situation. Either try a different position, add more lubrication or stop. Anal sex isn’t for everyone and you shouldn’t feel pressured to do it. A lot of people find it a fulfilling and positive experience, but others may find it just isn’t for them. There are a whole host of nerve endings in the rectal passage which when stimulated can lead to sensations of pleasure, although some may find it too intense.
When preparing for anal sex make sure you have lubrication and a condom to hand, even when in a committed relationship where you are sure you and your partner are disease free, a condom can make anal sex easier and more comfortable. Start slowly with gentle stimulation with a dildo or finger allowing time for the muscles to open up relax, and grow used to the intrusion. Positioning is very important, many people find being on top a good way to keep control of depth and speed on penetration, others find lying on their side or a doggy position to be more comfortable. Listen to your partner and communicate with them to find what is best for you and enjoy a pleasurable exciting addition to your lovemaking.